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White people

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White people are a race of people on earth. Probably. They could be from another planet, according to Louis C.K.

From Chewed UpEdit

Louis CK - Being White02:30

Louis CK - Being White

I’m not saying that white people are better. I’m saying that being white is clearly better, who could even argue? If it was an option, I would re-up ever year. 'Oh yeah I’ll take white again absolutely, I’ve been enjoying that, I’ll stick with white thank you.' Here’s how great it is to be white, I could get in a time machine and go to any time, and it would be fucking awesome when I get there! That is exclusively a white privilege. Black people can’t fuck with time machines. A black guy in a time machine is like 'Hey, anything before 1980, no thank you, I don’t want to go.' But I can go to any time ... in the past, I don’t want to go to the future and find out what happens to white people, because we’re going to pay hard for this shit, you gotta know that ... we’re not just gonna fall from number 1 to 2. They’re going to hold us down and fuck us in the ass forever, and we totally deserve it, but for now: Wheeeee! If you’re white and you don’t admit that it’s great, you’re an asshole! It is great and I’m a man. How many advantages can one person have? I’m a white man, you can’t even hurt my feelings! What can you really call a white man that really digs deep? 'Hey cracker!' ... 'Oh, ruined my day. Boy, shouldn’t have called me a cracker, bringing me back to owning land and people. What a drag.'

On Opie and Anthony 1/3/2007Edit

Opie & Anthony Louis CK Explains..09:02

Opie & Anthony Louis CK Explains...His Origin

Again, Patrice, you get pulled over for no reason 'cause you're black, that's how the fuckin' country works. [...] The whole country is based on white guys having a good time and not worrying at your expense! [...] That's why I'm here, where just having skin that's relatively pale is a huge advantage. To the point where it's criminal how great my life is. It's a global crime how good my life is compared to yours!

From Live at the Beacon TheaterEdit

Everything that we introduce to the world is shitty... meaning white people. Because-- I really think that white people are from another planet. and the reason is we don't like it here. Why, if we're from here, if we belong on Earth, why aren't we comfortable on Earth, at all? We need nice smooth surfaces and right angles and we need it to be cool and not too hot, just a little dit-dit just... perfect! Why wouldn't, when it's hot, why wouldn't we just-- (wipes sweat) "Yeah, fuck it!" Why wouldn't we be like that if we belonged here?