Lucky:
Let's do it for Roger!
Cadpig:
Let's do it for Roger!
Rolly:
Let's do it before dinner!
Cadpig:
You know? When I get hungry, I have a mental meal. Mmm... Right now, I'm having a heaping stack of blueberry pancakes with honey butter and warm maple syrup... with a side of sausage links, and home fries, and orange juice, and wheat toast, buttered on one side only please... Thank you.
[
Rolly faints in hunger]
Cadpig:
Looks like he's having a psychic sugar rush.
Cadpig:
If you keep your face in the sunshine, be sure to wear sunglasses.
Spot:
I can have a sandwich named after me. Just think...”Chicken Sandwich"!
Lucky:
Oh, man, now I've done it! They're going to lose the farm because of me.
Cadpig:
Now, now, no pity-parties, Lucky. It's not all your fault. Tell him, guys.
Rolly:
No, I think he's right.
Spot:
Yeah, it's pretty much his all fault.
Cadpig:
I shall wash, but I shan't be clean.
Rolly:
Got any ideas?
Spot:
This is one of those times I wish my head worked as good as my mouth.
Lucky:
We're not going anywhere near the poultry aisle.
Spot:
To you, it's the poultry aisle. To me, it's my family reunion!
Spot:
Hello! Remember me? I'm having a little stomach problem here... like
[
shouts]
Spot:
no stomach!
Cadpig:
Darkness... darkness...
Rolly:
But the Colonel said not to ever ever ever step foot in here!
Lucky:
We're not stepping, we're wading.
Lucky:
Yuck! Pollution!
Cadpig:
How can someone so callously violate nature's bathtub?
Rolly:
Looks more like nature's toilet bowl.
Spot:
Now, according to my calculations... the only truly statistically safe ride at the fair is... the turnstile.
Rolly:
Flaming Baked Alaska!
Lucky:
Forever?
Rolly:
As in... forever?
Cadpig:
Wow! They totally understood your barks!
Rolly:
I thought that only worked on TV!
Lucky:
I get it now! This way on the map is that way in the mall.
Rolly:
So does that mean that up is down and down is up?
Cadpig:
Let's all put on a happy face!
Cadpig:
Goodbye, happy face. Hello, sad face.
Rolly:
Well, now what do we do?
Spot:
Bark Brigade procedure is clear. Turn tail and run!
Lucky:
What? At the first sign of excitement? No way! We're going to march out there and trap Lambo just like Thunderbolt would do.
Spot:
But this isn't TV! This is real life! That could be d-d-d-dangerous!
Lucky:
I *live* for danger! They don't call me Luckybolt for nothing! Come on!
Cadpig:
All right, who called him Luckybolt?
Rolly:
This is scary.
Lucky:
I know. No TV.
Rolly:
Sorry, guys. My stomach sorta took over my brain.
Lucky:
There's news.
Horace:
Jasper, do you think I need a face lift?
Jasper:
You need a brain lift!
Lt. Pug:
[
singing] Lift your legs and move your butt.
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, Spot:
[
singing] Lieutenant Pug is a great big nut!
Lt. Pug:
My grandma can walk faster than you, and she's dead!
Cadpig:
I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that bird is cuckoo.
Spot:
Hey! That's my mom you're talking about!
Cadpig:
Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. You're mother is cuckoo!
Rolly:
My stomach alarm says that we're going to be late for dinner!
Cadpig:
Well, you'd better reset it!
Lucky:
Hey! Who turned off the color?
Cadpig:
Oh, no! Farm Noir! Huh?
[
the pups glare at Spot wearing a trench coat]
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly:
Spot?
Spot:
The name's Pullet Marlowe, Private Chick. Mystery is my middle name.
Rolly:
I thought it was Irma.
Spot:
Oh yeah. And I'm Walnutter, Queen of the Cashew People!
Rolly:
Long live the Nut Queen!
Spot:
[
voice over] I was like a Slinky on an escalator, I was getting nowhere fast.
Lucky:
Listen... I've heard that rumble before.
Cadpig:
Yeah, from Rolly's stomach on Pizza Night!
Swamp Rat:
Just one word for you, chicken... Eeh!
Spot:
"Eeh"?
Cadpig:
Oh, I hope Roger picks me! That trophy matches my inner glow.
Spot:
Who cares about the trophy? I just wanna bring honor to Dearly Farm.
Rolly:
Roger isn't picking a chicken, Spot.
He's gonna choose a dog... with a nose for bones... like me.
Lucky:
Dream on, guys. Roger has only one favorite, and we know who that is.
Cadpig:
Oh, forgive me, chosen one. And if it weren't for my total commitment to world peace, I'd kick your sorry little...
Spot:
Hey, where are you going, Tripod?
Tripod:
Gotta start practicing for the contest. Gotta dig, gotta pump up, gotta feel the burn! You guys coming?
Lucky:
Nah, I've got... shall we say... connections.
Tripod:
No pain, no gain.
Cadpig:
He's brave.
Rolly:
He's fearless.
Lucky:
He can do anything!
Spot:
He's just a dog.
Lucky:
He's not just a dog! Go-Go's my hero!
Cruella de Vil:
Memo to myself: Give up gambling. It's wrong... especially if you lose money.
Cruella de Vil:
Come back here, you! You owe me more than a dollar! Ooh! I mustn't run in heels!
Roger Dearly:
Oh, Lucky. You know I can't stay mad at you. You're my favorite.
Cadpig:
Gee, it's enough to make you want to toss your kibble.
[
repeated line]
Tripod:
No pain, no gain.
Lucky:
Roger's choosing Tripod over me? We gotta get him to a doctor. Maybe he's a clone! His body's been snatched in an alien invasion!
Lucky:
Why didn't Roger pick me?
Spot:
Hmm, let me take a stab at this. Because Tripod practiced? Because he worked hard? Because he's better?
Lucky:
Who says he's better? I never even tried.
Spot:
Ah! I think we've identified the problem.
[
Lucky and Tripod get attacked by a sling of mud. The mud puts Tripod's hair into a swirl]
Lucky:
That's a good look for you.
Tripod:
Careful, Lucky. You don't want to break a nail.
Cadpig:
You're not suffering from shot anxiety, are you, Lucky?
Spot:
Lucky? Afraid of a little shot? Ha! Lucky and I laugh at shots! We have shots for breakfast! Afraid? Please!
[
Lucky faints]
Cornelia:
Oh, Spot? Time for your chickenpox shot!
[
Spot faints]
Cadpig:
Come on, Lucky. Mr. Vaccine has a needle with your name on it.
Lucky:
You guys go ahead. I'm gonna hide. Uh, I mean... I'd better go round up the others. Yeah! I'm gonna go round up the others.
Rolly:
[
translating a barking code] Lamb strayed from flock... runaway... last seen... riding a cloud?
Spot:
That's "heading for town".
Lt. Pug:
What I want out of each and every one of you is a soft-hearted search by the book: No barking, no mocking, no begging for hand-outs.
Lucky:
Whoop-de-doo.
Rolly:
I don't remember this ever happening to Thunderbolt.
Cadpig:
But this is Luckybolt. The danger never stops.
Lucky:
Just a minor setback.
Lucky:
I can't wait to meet Thunderbolt!
Spot:
I hear he dyes his muzzle.
Spot:
You know how many people are maimed every year on merry-go-rounds?
Lucky:
Uh... none?
Spot:
Exactly! A tragedy is long overdue.
Spot:
Guys, help me! I'm... blue!
Cadpig:
Oh, Spot, these little side trips to Unhappy Land have to stop.
Spot:
[
crushed by a drum] Pollution hurts.
Cruella de Vil:
I am simply sensational in my new commercial! Don't you agree?
[
pause]
Cruella de Vil:
Of course, you do. I pay you to agree.
Horace:
[
to Jasper] She pays you?
Cruella de Vil (Left Head):
This is an environmental disaster.
Cruella de Vil (Right Head):
What she said.
Cruella de Vil (Left Head), Cruella de Vil (Right Head):
Memo to myself: No longer pollute local rivers and streams that directly effect me.
Lucy:
My Hiccup Hole is in beautiful condition. No more pollution...
[
the pups splash in]
Lucy:
... except for the spotted variety.
Cruella de Vil:
What a ravishing day, almost as if I designed it myself. Fresh air, sparkling water... humongous glowing blue tsunami of *slime*?
Cadpig:
You know what they say: When one door closes, another one opens.
Lucky:
Hey, they were right, Cadpig!
Lucky:
Hold onto this liquorice with your teeth, Rolly. Don't eat it.
Rolly:
I could, right?
Lucky, Cadpig, Spot:
No!
Rolly:
Okay, but hurry! I'm weakening!
Cadpig:
Don't hold onto the past, Lucky. Let it go. Move on. Catch it on cable!
Mr. Puffin:
Before I make the public announcement, I wanted to congratulate you for having the designer of the year working for you.
Cruella de Vil:
Darling, I don't work for me. I *am* me.
Cruella de Vil:
Memo to myself: Replace sawdust in the dog food with dirt. It's even cheaper.
Man:
But Ms. De Vil, aren't you concerned about the nutrition?
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, who cares? They're dogs! And they're owners are too stupid to know the difference.
Rolly:
Who could be responsible for such monstrosity?
Cruella de Vil:
You're fired!
Spot:
Why do we bother to ask?
Cadpig:
Let's not poo-poo our positivity. Just think about the competition.
Cecil B. DeVil:
What better actress would advertise new chicken flavor Kanine Krunchies than a chicken?
Spot:
Chicken flavor? What do they take me for? Some kind of *sicko*?
Lucky:
Rolly, what happened when you took that poll?
Rolly:
What happened when I took the poll? The fence fell down!
Cadpig:
I always try to be supportive, but... GET OFF ME NOW!
Lucky:
Holy Chimmichanga!
Rolly:
Spot, why don't you just follow us out this way?
Spot:
Uh, because I'm stuck?
Rolly:
This was a lot more fun than just sitting around watching TV... even the Gravy Channel!
Cadpig, Lucky, Spot:
*Especially* the Gravy Channel!
Cadpig:
Some people don't know when to quit.
Lucky:
We'll all be on TV! Which is my best side?
Spot:
You're sitting on it.
Princess:
I must have "sucker" branded on my derriere.
Cadpig:
You are a hero. Just like on TV.
Lucky:
Some hero. Nothing like the way I planned it. The bad guy beat me at every turn, and look at how it ended! I got plucked like a chicken! No offense, Spot.
Spot:
None taken... Baldy!
Lucky:
What was I thinking? I don't have a chance!
Cadpig:
There is no such thing as chance, Lucky. It's all up to destiny, and today, my name is "Destiny"!
Lucky:
If I were Chief Firedog, I'd declare a hydrant for every dog! I'd be the envy of all my fellow canines...
Cadpig:
Attention, Flight Director Lucky. Your ego trip has been cancelled.
Lucky:
Hey, who shut it off?
Spot:
Sorry, I thought it was over.
Rolly:
What's it matter? All that's left was a preview of tomorrow's show.
Cadpig:
And we know what *that* will be like: a little gratuitous violence, a little male bonding, a big explosion at the end. KABLAM! They're all the same.
Lucky:
I still wanted to see it. Thunderbolt's the only excitement I get around here.
Spot:
You looking for excitement? Rumor in the henhouse says that somebody, possibly Naomi, laid an egg... with two yolks.
Rolly:
Hey, hey! I dug up a shoe... open-toed!
Lucky:
Someone put me out of my misery! I wasn't meant to live the life of a farm animal. I need adventure, excitement, like Thunderbolt! I should be battling insidious villains, facing fur-raging danger, boldly going where no puppy has gone before!
Cadpig:
Welcome to Lucky's Rich Fantasy Life, and now back to reality.
Cadpig:
Welcome to the sinkhole of misery.
Jasper:
What do we do now, Ms. De Vil?
Cruella de Vil:
We steal it.
Horace:
But isn't that stealing?
Cruella de Vil:
Nothing gets past you, does it?
Cruella de Vil:
Did I wake you?
Roger Dearly:
No, I had to get up to answer the door.
Colonel:
Now, Lucky, you can not simply leap into a dangerous situation. You got to think, plan ahead. That's the make of a true hero.
Cadpig:
Lucky prefers the jump out of a plane and see if gravity's on duty approach.
Cornelia:
Where'd they learn that?
Cadpig:
It just goes to show ya, an old dog can teach new chicks!
Spot:
You know, I had a great song and dance number here; they cut it!
Cruella de Vil:
You people don't have any Christmas spirit. Christmas is about giving, giving me more designs, more things to sell, more of your time!
Spot:
Wait! I have to tell you two things! Number 1, Nanny left some extra kibble for you guys back at the shed!
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly:
What's number 2?
Spot:
Look out for the sewer pipe!
Lucky:
[
on top of Rolly] Gotcha!
Cadpig:
Lucky, next time, try clobbering the bad guy.
Lucky:
Hee hee. Sorry, Rolly.
Lucky:
Lieutenant! Push the cage release button!
Lt. Pug:
I don't take orders from you!
Lucky:
But that was part of your plan. Plan C. Remember?
Lt. Pug:
Of course I remember. C for...”Cage Release".
Spot:
C'mon, Pug's gonna be looking for us!
Lucky:
Relax, that bonehead couldn't find his butt with both paws!
Lt. Pug:
Freeze, hairballs! You traitors are all going down!
Cadpig:
But...
Lt. Pug:
Don't but me, Cadpig!
Cadpig:
That's right, Cadpig! See what happens when you try?
Cadpig:
Well, that was quite a resolution!
Lucky:
Shut up, Cadpig.
Lucky:
[
while wearing a jet suit] Help me out of this outfit!
Cadpig:
[
pressing a button on his belt] Is this the zipper?
Lucky:
No! That's the on switch!
Cadpig:
Isn't this stealing?
Lucky:
No. Stealing is when you take something from someone and never bring it back. This is borrowing.
Swamp Rat:
Did you say L-O-B-ster? That is to say, Lobster?
Cruella de Vil:
You did keep my contract to buy the farm, Roska.
Roger Dearly:
Oh, no! I'm not going to sign until I have a lawyer to look it over, maybe two.
Rolly:
If there was a real Shrewzle around, I would have smelled it. The Shrewzle has a very distinct odor, it's more gamey than squirrels and it's less musky than a raccoon, it's kind of like a beaver but a little less mildew.
Cruella de Vil:
Don't you have any tap water?
Anita Dearly:
It might be a tad rusty. Roger's been working on the pipes.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, well, that's just fine. I'll just think of it as gravy.
Cruella de Vil:
This box has been opened! Are you shorting me again? I'll count every straw!
Man:
But this is for the straws you were shorted last week.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, so it is. Well, don't let it happen again or it'll be the last straw!
Cruella de Vil:
Our designs are on sale at the concession stand. Don't be afraid to make a fashion statement, people.
Boy:
They're scary, like you.
Cruella de Vil:
I take it back. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Mayor Ed Pig:
Quiet that unruly mob, Bailiff.
Rolly:
Uh, your honor, that's the jury.
Mayor Ed Pig:
Well, at least they haven't formed any opinions.
Spot:
This is a citizen's arrest.
Lucky:
You have the right to remain guilty.
Cadpig:
Anything you say will be a lie.
Lucky:
[
in Cruella's obscure mansion] I don't understand. It's like I'm in some modern-art painting.
[
he then goes down a twisted staircase]
Lucky:
I hate modern art.
Cruella de Vil:
You are such a dear to appraise my new painting. I'm sure it's worth a fortune, it is, after all, a portrait of me.
Lt. Pug:
Are there any questions?
[
everyone raises their hand]
Lt. Pug:
Good! Since there are no questions...
Swamp Rat:
Did you say elevator shoes?
Spot:
No, that was a voice-over.
Cruella de Vil:
Do you know what this means?
Horace:
Balloons and ice cream and cute little happy puppies.
Roger Dearly:
Is it my imagination or is that woman wearing our drapes?
Cruella de Vil:
Jasper, Horace! You're going to the Grutely Dog Show.
Jasper:
But, Horace isn't housebroken yet.
Horace:
I prefer to say that I'm bladder challenged.
Jasper:
I told Horace not to turn on the vacuum until we attached the bag.
Horace:
How could I hear you with the vacuum on?
Jasper:
You idiot.
Horace:
We're in a real pickle, Jasper; a real pickle.
Jasper:
Gotta look on the bright side, Horace, this could be our chance to find a job where we'll actually get paid, with money.
Horace:
There's bosses who pay money? Oh, come on, how dumb do you think I am?
Cruella de Vil:
You are fired!
Horace:
Do you mean fired till tomorrow or fired till Tuesday?
Jasper:
She's kind of riled up this time; we better stay fired until Thursday.
Cadpig:
And now for the second phase of the greiving process... ANGER!
Cadpig:
Rolly, you really must learn to control your appetite; appetite shouldn't control you!
Cadpig:
Just think, for one brief moment, the name, Anita Dearly, will stand for all that is pure, and lovely, and must be dry cleaned.
Cadpig:
Oh Rolly, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, and if you do that to me again, I'm going to violate the other six on you!
Spot:
It's way past my nap time! If my mom catches me...
Cadpig:
Oh, relax for once, Spot. Hang ten on the cosmic surfboard of freedom!
Spot:
Cadpig, your metaphysical metaphors are getting weirder and weirder!
Lucky:
You guys could help me, you know!
Cadpig:
I thought this was supposed to be some Iron John macho thing. All you had to do was ask.
Lucky:
You know, guys? If I'm chief firedog, you can come and visit me at the firehouse whenever you want.
Rolly:
But Dad said that it's *my* destiny to be chief firedog. He said if I keep imagining, I can become it.
Cadpig:
Well, right now, Rolly, I'm imagining you're a hopeless dreamer. Oh! Look! You've become one!
[
repeated line]
Rolly:
Oh, papa!
Rolly:
Come on, help me pull this thing loose.
Spot:
I thought you were too much the gourmet to chew shoes.
Rolly:
I'm not gonna chew it, I'm gonna fetch it to Cruella. Maybe my good deed will earn me a hand up.
Cadpig:
Yeah, and maybe the Tooth Fairy will fly away to Lollypop Land and get a cavity.
Cruella de Vil:
Help me! I'm basting!
Lucky:
We may have missed lunch hour, but lunch will be ours! I have a plan that will have us chowing down in no time! We'll be swimming in kibble once we...
Spot:
Lucky? If I could just interject here for a second...
Lucky:
Spot, don't interrupt my moment.
[
continuing his speech]
Lucky:
Once we... break into the chow tower!
Cadpig:
[
sarcastically] Great moment, Lucky.
Spot:
I know what you're thinking. They look better than we do, and it's the chicken's fault.
Lucky:
At least you've got one thing right. We're supposed to walk the same, sound the same and look the same. We're supposed to be one big dog.
Cadpig:
Well, we're close. We're one big dog and a chicken.
Spot:
I'm in the lead! I'm in the lead!
[
falls in a puddle of mud]
Spot:
I'm in the mud.
Cruella de Vil:
I just love when good things happen to bad people!
Lucky:
There's gotta be some way to prove she's faking.
Rolly:
You sure she's still faking? I've seen healthier looking road kill.
Lucky:
Don't let her fool you. She's a picture of health!
Lt. Pug:
If you dirt weasels think that this is going to be another session of Sunday in the park with Grandpa, then think twice!
Cadpig:
Can I think happy thoughts, Lieutenant?
Lt. Pug:
Shut up, Capon!
Cadpig:
It's Cadpig, Sir.
Lt. Pug:
Whatever, Carpool. Now shut up and listen!
Lt. Pug:
True, it's not like the good old days. Back then, you can drop a piano on them, or flatten them with a steamroller, or paint a tunnel on a wall, and they'd slam right into it. I hate cats. Of course, now it's a code war, so we can't get away with that any more.
Rolly:
This guy's one doughnut short of a dozen.
Spot:
Hey, did you hear something?
Rolly:
Oh, that was my stomach.
Rolly:
What do you know? False alarm.
Lucky:
Let's look around.
[
they look around for a while]
Rolly:
That was fun. Anyone for gelato?
Lucky:
[
stops Rolly in his tracks] Something's fishy.
Rolly:
You always gotta go looking for trouble, don't you? Can't you just accept it as a false alarm? Here. I'll prove it to you. See? No sheep in trouble!
Cadpig:
Gosh, Rolly, I guess you were right.
[
a stampede of sheep runs over them]
Cadpig:
Did anyone get the license plate of those sheep?
Rolly:
I can't see.
Spot:
That makes you the luckiest one here.
Cadpig:
Oh, that is sentimental!
Rolly:
Oh, give me a break.
Lucky:
Or a barf bag.
Cadpig:
How could you be so insensitive? Have you never felt the pangs of Toujour L'amour?
Rolly:
I pulled a groin once.
Lucky:
I had ringworm.
Spot:
Does moulting count?
Cadpig:
Oh, Dumpling, beloved...
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] Oh, Dumpling, you mud head!
Cadpig:
Uh... er... your eyes are liquid pools, and your lips are cherries.
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] Your eyes are lizard drool, and your lips are hairy!
Cadpig:
No, no, you big doofus!
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] No, no, you big doofus!
Spot:
Oh, yeah, of course he gets *that* right.
Cadpig:
The words: "Deep Emotional Scars" spring my ear.
Lucky:
Man, these TV windmills are just as fake as TV heroes.
Cadpig:
I could become a spokesperson for world peace... or a major soft drink; they pay better.
Lucky:
Shouldn't stars like us have something more than second-hand scenery?
Bon-Bon:
Mind if I make a suggestion? Shut up! And keep off the top bunk! It's mine.
Cadpig:
Works for me. Actually, I prefer the bottom bunk.
Bon-Bon:
In that case, the bottom bunk's mine.
Cadpig:
Whatever tugs your leash. There's probably a better view from the top bunk anyway.
Bon-Bon:
They're *both* mine!
Cadpig:
So whatcha in for? Control issues?
Lucky:
I hope we made it in time for lunch.
Cadpig:
Aren't you not supposed to eat 30 minutes after you swim?
Rolly:
No, it's *before* you swim. I know about these things.
Lucky:
[
"Thunderbolt" has just been interrupted by Cruella's telethon] Who turned on the Sci-Fi Channel?
Rolly:
I think I'm retaining water.
Lucky:
I think you're retaining doughnuts!
Lucky:
[
opens Cruella's suitcase] Wow! Nothing but cigarettes!
Rolly:
Maybe she thinks tobacco is a food group.
Rolly:
I can't wait to get my shot. Dr. Whittaker's a babe!
Cadpig:
Relax. It's only a little shot.
Rolly:
Yeah. There are no huge scary needles or anything.
[
sees a huge needle]
Rolly:
Oh, boy, was I wrong.
Cadpig:
Personally, I'm drawn to the symbolic journey of the roller coaster carrying you through life's ups and downs... till you puke.
Horace:
You know? We'd be going a lot faster if we didn't have a flat tyre.
Jasper:
Thanks for the tip, Einstein.
Rolly:
[
holding a bunny-shaped candy, talking with an effeminate voice] I am just a little bunny, and I would not hurt anyone.
[
he eats the bunny and takes out another]
Rolly:
I am just a little bunny and...
[
he eats the bunny and takes out another]
Rolly:
I... am... just...
[
he eats the bunny and starts devouring the whole box]
Rolly:
I need more bunnies! Give me more bunnies!
[
shouts]
Rolly:
Bunny!
Roger Dearly:
[
sees Lucky on his windshield wipers] Cool! My wipers look like Lucky!
Lucky:
What do you want to do for fun today, Rolly?
Rolly:
Well, let's see... there's breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, high tea...
Lucky:
There's something new.
Cadpig:
Lucky, your obsession with Thunderbolt has caused you to lose your moral center.
Lucky:
But we have to sneak in! They won't sell us tickets!
Cadpig:
Shifting the blame to others. Good save!
Lucky:
We've been spotted!
Cadpig:
We were born that way, Luck. It's part of who we are.
Lucky:
I wish I could get my mind off Thunderbolt. I can still hear his theme music.
Cadpig:
Don't listen! That's just your subconscious tormenting you!
Rolly:
It's tormenting me too... from over there!
Cadpig:
What incredible kinetic power! You are throwing your subconscious!
Rolly:
Let's face it. I'm no good at this stuff.
Cadpig:
Come on, Rolly! Think positively!
Rolly:
Okay, I'm positive I'm no good.
Lt. Pug:
Okay, fall in!
[
Pug falls into a hole]
Spot:
Hey, isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Lt. Pug:
Duck!
Spot:
Duck? What is it with you guys and poultry?
Lucky:
We're safe.
Cadpig:
Interesting word choice. I would have gone with "about to die".
Rolly:
They've changed the recipe! It's the difference between Van Gogh and paint by numbers!
Rolly:
They opened up a new Kanine Krunchies plant without me knowing about it?
Spot:
They have to clear things up with you?
Cruella de Vil:
Thank you, faceless consumer horde... I mean, people.
Spot:
If only puppies everywhere knew you were the hero behind this, Rolly...
Rolly:
Oh, tut-tut, young chicken. If I can bring a smile to their hearts and a belch to their lips, my work is done.
Spot:
Dear Lucky, I know it must be complicated for a mere puppy to understand the complex in the life of an artiste, but for the first time in my life, I feel appreciated, I feel needed...
Cadpig:
I feel nauseous!
Lucky:
Red Airedale rules!
Cadpig:
Yellow's my favorite.
Rolly:
I like the brown one. It looks like gravy.
Lt. Pug:
I'm trapped... like a... bull dog under a grocery cart!
Cadpig:
Poor Pug. He's metaphorically challenged.
Horace:
I think I got it now, Jasper...”Listen, this is a stick up! Fork over the money!"
Jasper:
Too late for that, Horace. Try this...”Help! We're trapped in a store room!"
Horace:
Help! We're stored in a trap room!
Jasper:
Close.
Spot:
I can still see Lucky and Rolly and good old Cadpig... it's almost as if I'm still alive.
Rolly:
Spot, you *are* still alive.
Cadpig:
And what did our horoscope predict today, Rolly? That it's a good day to be *rude*?
Lucky:
The farm looks fantastic! Just looking at it makes me feel so... itchy!
Cadpig:
What are you so itchy about?
Lucky:
I'm itching to go to the dance with Two-Tone.
Cadpig:
Someone's been bitten by the puppy love bug.
Lucky:
Well, that explains why I itch... but does it explain why I hear music?
Cadpig:
Some cook. She's ordered out for all the food.
Rolly:
I hope there's leftovers!
Lucky:
This is no time to think with your stomach! We've got to expose her as a phony.
Cadpig:
Maybe we should take out her take out.
Lucky:
Huh. Maybe we *should* think with Rolly's stomach.
Rolly:
Oh, papa! I think I like what you're thinking!
Cydne:
[
after swallowing a few eggs] There goes my cholesterol.
Rolly:
Get back! Get back! Get back to where you once belonged!
Lucky:
Rolly, didn't you have enough to eat?
Rolly:
I did. I'm having a snack now.
Cruella de Vil:
How can you be the Ghost of Christmas past? You're just a puppy.
Cadpig:
It's called "multi-tasking." I can be a cute puppy, and the Ghost of Christmas past, just like you can be a fashion designer, and pure evil.
Rolly:
Don't miss lunch because of me! Save yourselves!
Cadpig:
Thanks, Rolly!
Lucky:
We can't just leave and let him starve!
Cadpig:
We can do anything if we try.
Rolly:
This is scary.
Lucky:
You're right. No TV.
Cadpig:
Jump aboard or eat my dust!
Duchess:
That looks like fun!
Princess:
Have you been drinking your own milk again?
Rolly:
I dig Go-Go!
Cadpig:
I love Go-Go!
Lucky:
I worship Go-Go!
Roger Dearly:
[
throws a frisbee] Wish it was that easy to get rid of Cruella. Maybe if I tied a dollar around it...
Spot:
[
gets eaten by a shark and then spat out] Well, I don't like the taste of fish either!
Cadpig:
I don't mean to sound judgmental, but do you have to be such a *colossal swine*?
[
repeated line]
Rolly:
Are you calling me fat?
Lt. Pug:
You can take a chicken out of the hen house, but you can't take the smell out of a chicken! P.U.!
Spot:
I think I froze my giblets!
Lucky:
Hey, chill out!
Spot:
Why me? I'm not ready to go to that big chicken coop in the sky!
Lucky:
Hey, Spot, we're going to go roll in the dirt. You wanna come?
Spot:
Can't. I'm sittin' on an egg.
[
the pups laugh]
Spot:
Oh, just shoot me now! It's Mom's orders! She says I'm spending too much time with you guys!
Cadpig:
Why that's Dalmatian discrimination. Don't let your mother's intolerance crush your individuality. Fight oppression, my sister!
Lucky, Rolly:
[
shout] I love you, man!
Cadpig, Spot:
[
shout] Group hug!
Horace:
I thought alien mutants from other planets were green.
Jasper:
Of course, they're green. Everybody knows that.
Horace:
Then how come those are blue?
Cadpig:
How can you harden your heart to this majestic mollusk... this courtly crustacean? How can you be so selfish to a shell fish?
Cadpig:
Someone will suffer for this!
Rolly:
What's going to happen to Lucky?
Cadpig:
He's always been lucky... let's just hope that hasn't changed.
Cadpig:
One lump or two?
Lt. Pug:
I'll give you some lumps!
Horace:
If I didn't know any better, I'd say these puppies are trying to stop us from stealing the water.
Jasper:
No, Horace, you don't know any better. In fact, you don't know anything.
Horace:
That's a relief.
Lucky:
I told you Swamp Rat would have helium.
Rolly:
It's a good thing we had Dipstick to trade.
Lucky:
Hmm... I wonder how much it'll cost to get him back.
Rolly:
Why am I doing all the digging?
Lucky:
I told you, Rolly. Ice-cream grows underground.
Rolly:
Oh, yeah!
Cruella de Vil:
It's true! The camera does put on pounds! Memo to myself: Move up liposuction appointment.
Lucky:
Ten to one, it's gravel.
Spot:
What are we going to do?
Cadpig:
Think happy thoughts?
[
Cruella appears]
Cadpig:
You're not a happy thought.
Spot:
How do we know it's Rolly? It could be another robot!
Rolly:
Come on, guys! Let me out! I'm starving here!
Spot:
All right, I'm convinced.
Rolly:
Oh, no! I can't believe I actually kissed her! Now I'll have to get new shots! I'll never get that taste out of my mouth! The horror! The horror!
Lucky:
What did I tell ya? Piece of c...
[
a large branch falls on his head]
Lucky:
...uggghh...
Rolly:
Piece of cugh? What kind of a cake is that?
[
Rolly sucks up a large quantity of the kibble as well as Cadpig, then he spits Cadpig out]
Rolly:
Yuck! What *is* this?
Cadpig:
Possibly your head after I get done with it!
Spot:
[
wagging her tail] Hey! What's going on? I'm having some sort of butt-quake!
Rolly:
I think I caught a bug in my teeth! Not bad, though.
Cruella de Vil:
I feel so... centered. How can I ever thank you?
Gipdac:
No thanks are necessary. Just remember what you have learned - materialism and greed have no place in the world... and it's really hard to get out of this position, isn't it?
Cadpig:
Uh-oh, someone came between Rolly and dessert.
Cadpig:
How enlightened - treating us like we're lower life forms.
Rolly:
Hey, guys. What are you doing here?
Lucky:
Trying to get you out of this dungeon.
Rolly:
Dungeon? There's free Hoo-hahs! They don't cost nothing!
Lucky:
They cost you your freedom!
Rolly:
Aw, what do you mean? I like it here.
Cadpig:
He doesn't realize! He's drunk with calories!
P.H. De Vil:
Time to test you for side effects... and you have many sides to choose from.
Rolly:
What's up?
Perdy:
You are.
Rolly:
But I don't know if I can be strong.
Lucky:
You can do it, Rolly. Your friends are here to lend you emotional support and to truss you up like a holiday turkey.
Cruella de Vil:
Not one call. Not one cent. Doesn't anyone care about the fashion-deprived kids?
Rolly:
This is awful, she's taken our stuff, she's taken our space, she's taken our food.
Spot:
Look on the bright side, at least we still have our self-respect.
Cadpig:
Spot, we're living in a bookcase.
Lucky:
Can't we watch something besides the gravy channel?
Rolly:
It's my turn to watch what I want - "Giblets: The Movie".
Roger Dearly:
Wait a minute, you were taking photos on the farm?
Cruella de Vil:
Well, it's amazing what you can stumble across with a super telescopic antimorphic night vision lens.
Rolly:
That's it, we lost Dumpling.
Lucky:
No, she's gotta be somewhere. You just can't lose 300 pounds of rampaging bacon.
Spot:
[
voice-over] It was a hot day in the hen house. Crazy hot. Hot enough to make a criminal stick to his case.
Cornelia:
My egg! My beautiful egg! Vanished!
Cadpig:
Try to keep your sunnyside-up Cornelia.
[
Cornelia cries harder]
Cadpig:
Bad choice of words.
[
back to Cornelia]
Cadpig:
But you really shouldn't just keep scrambling like that.
[
Cornelia cries harder]
Cadpig:
Oh, you did it again! Bad Cadpig! Bad!
[
Lucky moves Dumpling out of the way of an oncoming wagon in an attempt to get her to save him]
Dumpling:
You saved my life again!
Lucky:
I should have let the wagon hit me.
[
Cadpig's last lines in the whole series]
Cadpig:
Well, what do you know? I was the Shaggy Green Messenger!
Lucky:
Are you just going to keep giving us stuff to do until we give up?
Cadpig:
What Lucky means is, he believes you have a subconscious fear of losing.
Rolly:
In other words, he's calling you a yellow-bellied, lily-livered chicken!
Spot:
Not that that's a bad thing...
Cadpig:
Whistling is a way of audibly extending your inner joy to those around you.
Mayor Ed Pig:
I'm the mayor, and I have passed a law stating that no whistling is allowed on this here farm!
Cadpig:
Thank you for sharing, your lardship.
Spot:
I'm hot.
Rolly:
I'm hungry.
Cadpig:
Let's all think ice cream.
[
a fast moving tub of ice cream runs by picking them up]
Cadpig:
Everybody stop thinking!
Cadpig:
Why can't you run for mayor? You're charismatic, you talk a lot, you're bossy, you're always telling people what to do...
Lucky:
Okay, okay, I get your point!
Cadpig:
I can even be your personal image consultant. I love manipulating the truth.
Rolly:
And I can be your advisor.
Spot:
And I can manage your campaign. I have a neck for seeing trouble coming.
Cadpig:
It's because the planets' current alignment favors dogs. We're in a Pluto phase.
Spot:
[
after getting run over by a bunch of puppies] Look at all the pretty spots.
Rolly:
Next year, I wanna be the ballot box!
Princess:
When Nanny milked me this morning, her hands nearly froze my udders off!
Duchess:
When are we getting those heated milking gloves you promised us?
Lucky:
Vice-Vice-Vice Mayor Spot is hard at work on that.
Spot:
Yeah, and we got a finance committee extrapolating a freezability report on...
Lucky:
[
dissolve to the pups in a new place] What did you say?
Spot:
I was hoping you knew.
Cadpig:
Technically speaking, Mooch is really the one with egg on his face.
Lucky:
Cadpig, would you stop whistling before I declare it illegal again?
Spot:
Ed Pig's just called a meeting to discuss all the promises you made.
Lucky:
Well, tell them it's illegal to talk about my promises.
Spot:
That doesn't seem fair.
Lucky:
Who are you to say what's fair, Spot? I'm the mayor.
Cadpig:
Somebody needs a little attitude adjustment.
Rolly:
Yeah, Lucky! Pretty soon, you're going to be eating all our ice cream!
Spot:
And making us watch whatever shows you want!
Lucky:
Then I could if I wanted to. I can do anything I want.
Rolly:
Huh! Then you're gonna have to find yourself another vice mayor!
Cadpig:
...and vice-vice mayor!
Spot:
...and vice-vice-vice mayor too!
Lucky:
Guess I should just pass a law saying that I'm no better than Ed Pig.
Rolly:
It sure was nice of Mayor Pig to give us this ice cream.
Spot:
Guess he's not such a bad guy after all.
Cadpig:
There's a warm heart between all those pork rinds.
Lucky:
After that promise mess, I'm just happy to be done with my political career.
Rolly:
Glad to hear it, Lucky.
Lucky:
Everybody knows the real power is in big corporations.
[
Rolly, Cadpig and Spot throw ice cream chunks at Lucky]
Lucky:
[
laughs] Just kidding.
Anita Dearly:
Roger, what's taking you so long?
Roger Dearly:
Uh, I was making sure the oven is locked and the doors are off... uh, I mean...
Anita Dearly:
Honey, why are you carrying my sewing machine?
Roger Dearly:
Oops.
Lucky:
Boy, you'd think she'd at least show her good side on TV.
Rolly:
You think Cruella has one?
Cadpig:
Everybody has a good side, Rolly. Hers just isn't visible to the naked eye.
Lucky:
Let's see. "Reheat", "Defrost", "Popcorn"... Ah, here it is. "Declone."
Roger Dearly:
Is the bathtub running?
Anita Dearly:
If it is, you'd better go out and catch it.
Cadpig:
I feel so... abandoned!
[
sobbing]
Spot:
What's the matter? You've been away from your parents lots of times.
Cadpig:
Well, I always left them. They never left me. I feel anxious, and hostile, and my tail is all poofy, and my nose is... runny!
[
she blows her nose on Spot's arm]
Spot:
Thank you for sharing.
Cadpig:
Fascinating. This website posts hundreds of pet psychological problems. I'm sure I can find my symptoms listed.
Spot:
Oh, yeah. Fascinating. Who knew there'd be so many goldfish with fin envy?
Rolly:
Or lovebirds in need of marriage counseling?
Lucky:
Or that we've spent our one weekend without parental supervision watching Cadpig's nasal drip?
Cadpig:
I need to be petted!
[
screams]
Cadpig:
And I need it now!
Lucky:
[
points at Rolly] He'll do it.
Rolly:
[
points at Spot] She'll do it.
Spot:
Mother.
Lucky:
We're exhausted.
Rolly:
How long do we have to keep this up?
Spot:
I have a feeling we're going to be doing this forever!
Cadpig:
What are you guys complaining about? I'm the one who needs attention!
Two-Tone:
[
to Mooch] I just came by here to say to you that I have nothing to say to you. If I had anything to say to you, I'd say it to Lucky... my date tonight at the dance!
Roger Dearly:
Uh... I think the pups want to stop.
Cruella de Vil:
At a dog food factory? Over my dead body.
[
the pups flatten her]
Roger Dearly:
Close enough.
Lucky:
Come on, Rolly! We gotta hightail it to the museum! We don't want to miss the Fire Hydrants of the World exhibit!
Rolly:
Just send me a postcard, Lucky. I'm getting a cramp here.
Cadpig:
I'm getting a cramp too! A big giant smile cramp!
Cadpig:
[
shouts] Bring back that purse, you big jerk! Ooh, I gotta work on my underlying hostility.
Lucky:
Somebody's gotta take a bite out of crime.
Cadpig:
Yeah, right.
Cadpig:
What a dramatic day it has been.
Rolly:
Yeah, I think I pulled my groin.
Cadpig:
[
to a couple of cows] Hello, my name is Cadpig, and you two are...
[
puts a nametag on each of them saying, "cow"]
Cadpig:
cows. Nametags will help us all bond in a friendly, yet functional fashion.
Cruella de Vil:
Tell me, are there still 101, or did I happen to take out a couple of the mutts when I drove in?
Lucky:
Isn't it fun spending the night? Just like old times.
Rolly:
I don't remember freezing my butt off, Lucky!
Lucky:
Back at the barn, you were hot!
Rolly:
Well, now I'm cold.
Cadpig:
I'm hungry. Both physically and spiritually. I still miss my friends.
[
the pups are at the bottom of a fireplace looking up the chimney]
Rolly:
You sure this will work, Lucky?
Lucky:
Trust me.
[
the puppies stack up. Lucky loosens some soot causing Rolly to sneeze, which causes the trio to fall]
Lucky:
This feels very familiar.
Cruella de Vil:
I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Anita Dearly:
Nanny, make some food for the puppies; they're probably hungry.
Lucky:
Who cares about the food? I'm just glad we're home.
Rolly:
*I* care about the food!
Cruella de Vil:
Who's idea was it to put a bird bath in the middle of your driveway?
Anita Dearly:
Cruella, we don't have a bird bath in our driveway.
Cruella de Vil:
Well, you do now.
Cadpig:
I love bird baths! I love birds. They make me happy.
[
Lucky screeches in, head-butting Cadpig off screen]
Cadpig:
[
shouts] Watch it, Bird Brain!
Cadpig:
Oh, goody! We get to ferret out the ferret!
Rolly:
What took you guys so long?
Cadpig:
[
trying to get Rolly unstuck from the fence] We were too busy not getting stuck!
[
Rolly gets pulled free and crushes Cadpig]
Cadpig:
[
very weakly] Ouch.
Cadpig:
That's where we come in, Rolly. We've got to counter all our counterproductive gut-stripping fears, and do what any best friend would do - go in there, and face Cruella with him!
Rolly:
...or, we could just leave.
Cadpig:
Sure. We can do that.
Lt. Pug:
Now for your reward...
[
shouts]
Lt. Pug:
Hit the deck and give me 20!
Lt. Pug:
What's your name, soldier?
Cadpig:
Cadpig, sir.
Lt. Pug:
Hit the deck, Pig Dog, and give me 37!
Cadpig:
You know, sir, the use of pejorative labels only gives you the illusion of power.
Lt. Pug:
Make that 38!
Lucky:
[
to the TV] Are you all right? You had me so worried!
Cadpig:
How long do you suppose Captain Flea Dip will be conquering space today?
Spot:
Probably just his usual romp to the Omega Quadron and back.
Cadpig:
Exercise equipment? Why would anyone put that on a spaceship?
Spot:
Why would anyone eat processed cheese?
VLAD:
VLAD had to fool his furry and feather friends.
Lucky:
Why? Why did VLAD have to?
VLAD:
Skinny evil woman wanted to change VLAD. Went to turn VLAD into flight fat farm. VLAD's mission to violate countries, not melt off pounds fast.
Rolly:
But why dognap us?
VLAD:
VLAD wanted little comrades to help fulfill VLAD's destiny: to seek and destroy all orbiting traffic and become star of outer space!
Cadpig:
Of course.
Spot:
Should have guessed.
Rolly:
What else?
Cadpig:
We all need to express our dark side, but give it a rest.
Cadpig:
It was just nice to have everyone look up to me for a while. Take my advice. Give me a feeling of importance.
Lucky:
Well, it gave *me* chills and a fever *and* frostbite on my tail.
Anita Dearly:
Having you join us, Cruella, was such an unexpected surprise.
Cruella de Vil:
Well, I knew that hang up on my voice mail must have been you calling to invite me.
Lucky:
You're toast, Turkey Lips!
Mooch:
You're mouse meat, Midget Mutt!
Lucky:
Gum?
Rolly:
Check.
Lucky:
String?
Cadpig:
Check.
Lucky:
Chicken?
Spot:
I hate my life.
Spot:
Don't you want to learn?
Lucky:
Spot, don't you get it? Only geeks learn barking code, and only losers teach it.
Lt. Pug:
*I* took command! *I* faced the enemy! Granted, it was a fictional enemy, but those are the worst kind!
Roger Dearly:
How do I know you're not making the same old empty promises?
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, don't be ridiculous. These are brand new empty promises.
Cruella de Vil:
I'll have my people call your people... oh, that's right. You don't have people.
Jasper:
It's time for Phase 2.
Horace:
Is Phase 2 the second thing?
Jasper:
This is hard for you, isn't it?
Horace:
A little.
Jasper:
Phase 3.
Horace:
Now, is Phase 3 the first thing?
Jasper:
Now, how can it be the first thing?
Horace:
That's a toughie.
Cadpig:
You know, Lieutenant, instead of taking us on your usual machismo tour, why don't we cadets do something more enlightening like explore our feminine side?
Lt. Pug:
Feminine side my grandma! I don't have a feminine side!
Cadpig:
Sure you do. It's in there somewhere. The sensitive, nurturing, patient part in all of us.
[
a truck runs by covering Cadpig in mud]
Cadpig:
Hold that thought.
[
chases after the truck]
Cadpig:
You mud-slinging bag of slime!
Lt. Pug:
Whoa. She's good. Maybe we should get in touch with our feminine sides.
Lt. Pug:
Are you two done with that helium?
Lucky, Rolly:
[
high-pitched voices] All finished, Sir.
Lucky:
We're not lifting off.
Lt. Pug:
We've got too much weight.
Rolly:
Oh, so now I *add* fat.
Rolly:
[
has a fish biting his tail] Ooh! A crab! A crab!
Spot:
[
has a treasure map on her face] Why do they always mark the "spot" with an X?
Cadpig:
My, just look at that. To those few of us versed in the ancient art of alligator-tongue reading, your future is an open book. I can see a career in the luggage business, I see someone gorgeous in your future... Ooh, and you have a very long life line. See?
Lucky:
Now, if I can just find that X...
Cadpig:
What did I tell you earlier, Luckless? That's only on TV.
Rolly:
Well, I didn't come all this way for nothing. I'll find that treasure.
Spot:
Guess again! You'll never find it without me!
[
they all see a big "X"]
Rolly:
Whoa! The treasure!
Lucky:
X marks the spot!
Cadpig:
[
to the camera] Well, what did you expect?
Cruella de Vil:
I'd get rid of you mutts right now, but there's probably a tax on revenge.
Roger Dearly:
Anita, is someone here?
Anita Dearly:
It's Cruella, dear.
Roger Dearly:
Bring her in here. Maybe she can scare the termites to death.
Lucky:
How weird.
Rolly:
Where'd they all go? Who's gonna feed us?
Cadpig:
Abducted! All of them!
Spot:
Now let's try to think about this logically...
[
yells]
Spot:
We're all gonna die!
Cadpig:
Can't a dog have a little sensory deprivation in peace?
Cadpig:
You're making popcorn now?
Rolly:
Can I have some?
Lucky:
You guys okay?
Cadpig:
Yeah.
Rolly:
Uh-huh.
Spot:
Sure. I always make that sound when I'm drowning.
Rolly:
What good is being a nice guy when people think you're a bonehead? Or a sucker? Or a...
Cadpig:
Chump? Sap? Stooge? Patsy?
[
the others glare at her]
Cadpig:
I got a thesaurus for Christmas.
Cadpig:
See, Bon-Bon? I knew you had a soft gooey center. It's a little gooier than I expected, but go ahead and let it all ooze out.
Rolly:
Those people are blocking my view. Give them a hand, will ya?
Spot:
But sir, I'm a chicken, not a duck.
Rolly:
A bird's a bird. Hit the water.
Cadpig:
Other than winning the limbo contest, what exactly did you get out of this, Rolly?
Rolly:
Well, there was that buffet.
Gipdac:
You two have been brought here to learn a system of inner values - peace, interplanetary harmony, and stellar convergence.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, very '60s. Memo to myself: Bring back Go-Go Boots.
Lucky:
Where's your pioneer spirit? Where's your sense of adventure? Where's... Where's the scarf?
Lucky:
I said a scarf, not a muffler!
Lucky:
Hi, I'm Lucky.
Swamp Rat:
Well, you most certainly are... lucky you met me, and I am lucky I met you.
Cadpig:
That's a Steven?
Rolly:
My dogs are killing me.
Spot:
Dogs? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Rolly:
"Rolly, you eat too much!" "Rolly, you sleep too much!" "Rolly, your butt is blocking the sun!" Why don't they come out and say it? "Rolly, we think you're a pig!"
Cadpig:
Today is the honeymoon phase. Tomorrow, divorce pork.
Cadpig:
You know, I think we've entered the third phase of grief - blame, and I blame *both of you*!
Roger Dearly:
This is a smoke-free house. Not one cigarette touches your lips! You'll have to quit like I did: cold turkey!
Cruella de Vil:
[
finds herself chewing on someone's socks] Lovely stockings. Argyle?
Cruella de Vil:
That does it, Anita. I'll never smoke again. I've hit bottom. Once you've chewed on a man's socks, the world is a whole different flavor.
Cadpig:
Saving a bottom feeder should at least give me a humanitarian award.
Spot:
What do you mean you liberated a lobster?
Cadpig:
I had no choice. He was heading for that big butter bath in the sky!
Spot:
But it's stealing! The lobster police will get us for sure.
Rolly:
Spot's right. We gotta eat the evidence. Anybody got a squeeze of lemon?
Cadpig:
Rolly, how could you?
Rolly:
Nothing personal. It's a food chain thing.
Spot:
Are you sure this is a good lobster neighborhood? I mean, what are the schools like?
Cadpig:
You said you were going to make him a contributing member of society!
Swamp Rat:
He's contributing to my gumbo recipe. Close enough.
[
the match Swamp Rat is holding catches his fingers on fire]
Swamp Rat:
Yeow! I hope a little kid never holds a lit match like that! That could hurt!
Rolly:
You'll never get away with this, Swamp Rat! A decent gumbo needs cayenne pepper!
Swamp Rat:
There's plenty of cayenne in it, chubby boy! The secret is to start with a wallop of kosher salt.
Rolly:
Salt? No, no, no. First, the cayenne pepper, then the...
Lucky, Cadpig, Spot:
[
shouts] Rolly!
Cruella de Vil:
On my ship, we serve only the freshest sea food. It's so fresh, it fights back. Don't you just love an entree with spunk?
Cadpig:
Is it possible that I was an unclear communicator? Demonstrated poor listening skills? Was too caught up in my mission to assess Lance's needs?
Lucky, Spot, Rolly:
Uh-huh!
Rolly:
And don't forget to add a count of Grand Theft Lobster!
Spot:
Hey, you were just trying to help a fellow creature. We know your heart was in the right place.
Spot:
You know what happens to bullies?
Mooch:
Yeah. They get all the good stuff.
Lucky:
We're gonna have a wonderful time. No pets, no parents. It'll be our vacation too.
Rolly:
Yeah, Nanny will just keep busy watching over us, and we'll just kick back and eat and eat. And then, we'll eat. And then, after that... we'll eat.
Cadpig:
I sense a theme.
Cruella de Vil:
Bacon? What animal lays that?
Lucky:
Go for it, Rolly!
Cadpig:
Eat like the wind!
Rolly:
I really love you guys!
Spot:
Stand back! You might get sucked into the vortex!
Steven the Aligator:
I promise I won't eat you.
Lucky:
Sadly, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me today.
Lucky:
Give me a sentence in 25 words or less.
Cadpig:
Okay, I'll give you 8 words: I think my educated brother is a big jerk!
Lucky:
That was 9 words.
Jasper:
[
singing] We've got a singing telegram for Nanny... Nanny... From her sister in a jam in a great big way.
Horace:
[
singing] Add a broken "B". I picked a fight, you see. I won the fight, but I broke my knee. Need your help. Love, Franny.
Nanny:
Oh, awful! Just awful!
Jasper:
Could've been worse. We also do strip-o-grams.
Nanny:
I was talking about my sister!
Cadpig:
We'll wring every last drop of guilt our of you. But hey, what are friends for?
Man:
What types of jobs have you two had in the past?
Horace:
Mostly unpaid.
Man:
Unpaid?
Jasper:
Uh... unafraid.
Cadpig:
You know, you really should exercise your minds as well as your bodies.
Cadpig:
You okay, Rolly?
Rolly:
Why, yes, Cadpig. I've always dreamed of being a throw rug.
Cadpig:
Lucky? Pug? I think we should define the problem, propose solutions, then choose an act. That will lead to a resolution.
Lucky:
The problem is I seem to have a Pug on my collar.
[
Spot has just woken Cadpig up]
Cadpig:
Spot, I just reached my R.E.M. state.
Spot:
Have you ever seen Lock Jaw?
Lt. Pug:
Nobody's ever seen him... but I've heard him stomping through the night looking for his favorite dish: Chicken Veronica with a bed of marinated puppies.
Rolly:
Is that served with a white sauce?
Lucky:
Rolly!
Lt. Pug:
Whatever you do, don't sneeze. Someone always sneezes in these situations.
Cadpig:
Now, Lieutenant Pug, Mr. Jaw wants to know why you've been spreading vicious rumors about him behind his back. He finds it... dehumanizing.
Horace, Jasper:
[
singing] I've been working on the railroad / All the live-long day...
Jasper:
[
singing] I've been working on the railroad / Just to pass the time a... Hey!
Lucky:
They're giving us away.
Cadpig:
Throwing us out like day-old pizza!
Rolly:
Nobody would do that, would they? Do a pizza on me?
Spot:
They're tossing us out on our furry little butts! Wait a minute... I'm a *feather* butt. Maybe this doesn't include me.
Cadpig:
I don't handle rejection well! Although, I have revenge down pat.
Cadpig:
Maybe we should look at the bright side: We're beginning down the road less traveled. The start of a brand new life.
[
Lucky and Rolly glare at her]
Cadpig:
Sorry. I was just trying to put a positive spin on doom.
Lucky:
Well, Cadpig, it's the start of a whole new life.
Cadpig:
Lucky, I'm conflicted. I can't tell if I'm suffering from abandonment issues or separation anxiety.
[
her stomach makes weird noises]
Cadpig:
... or gas.
Rolly:
What things could a chicken possibly want?
Lucky:
Don't ask.
Spot:
[
wearing a vest] Cock-a-doodle-doo! Look at me! I'm a Dalmatian too!
Lucky:
Our Rolando is a little too rotundo.
[
Rolly races past Lucky and Cadpig at warp speed]
Cadpig:
He must have spotted a cupcake!
Cruella de Vil:
Welcome Baron Effem Von Schnickledoodle!
[
a very old man enters]
Cruella de Vil:
Can I get you anything? A drink? Hors d'oeuvres? Oxygen? Memo to myself: Make this a short engagement.
Lucky:
Fly, Spot! Fly!
Lucky:
Man, that's got "thrill ride" written all over it! You guys should check this out!
Racoon:
You guys all right with this?
Rolly:
I am, but Swifty here seems a little nervous.
Swifty:
[
hyperactively] What do you *mean*? I've never been so relaxed in all my life!
Rolly:
I'm famished, and you bring me stinky footwear? Please!
Cadpig:
It's the perfect snack! Did you want some dipping sauce?
Rolly:
I'd never chew shoes! I'm a gourmet. A kibble connoisseur, don't you know. My taste buds are oh so defined.
Rolly:
Come on, Spot. Live it up! You're eating like a bird!
Spot:
Rolly, I am a bird! A bird with serious digestive problems!
Cornelia:
And just what have you been up to?
Spot:
Uh... howling at the moon?
Cornelia:
Again with the dog act? What next? Walking? A leash? Fire hydrant?
Spot:
That was one time. And it was an accident.
Cornelia:
Well, it's not going to happen again!
Lucky:
It's all chicken scratch to me. What's it say?
Cornelia:
"Not a chicken. Not a dog. Have left to interface with my growth potentialities. Farewell." Only one beast on this farm talks like that!
Cadpig:
What can I say? It's a precious gift.
Roger Dearly:
Well, I wouldn't waste my breath wishing Cruella a Merry Christmas. She'd charge us for the air we breath if she could get away with it.
Cadpig:
Rolly, you really shouldn't be guessing people's gifts, it'll ruin the surprise. What I get?
Rolly:
Same as last year - chew toy.
Cadpig:
Oh, well, it's the thought that counts. Besides, I can always return it.
Lucky:
Don't worry. This is totally safe. Safe as safety-scissors safe.
Spot:
Lucky, I think I really must tell you that...
Lucky:
Spot, you're going to have to stay back! This is totally dangerous! Very, very dangerous!
Roger Dearly:
Hey, look, Lucky wants to go. Take him instead of me, Cruella will never know the difference.
Ivy:
I bet you puppies would like a nice little treat.
Rolly:
She's won my trust.
Spot:
Hey, are you guys missing anything?
Mooch:
Well, Dipstick is missing his marbles. Whizzer lost his bladder control this morning, but otherwise, nope.
Lucky:
But this is unfair! Whatever happened to justice, whatever happened to honor?
Rolly:
Whatever happened to that little piece of fat you got inside of pork and beans?
Roger Dearly:
No, Lucky. This isn't a game for pets.
Cruella de Vil:
Here! Let me have a go at this!
Roger Dearly:
No, Cruella. This isn't a game for pests... uh, I mean, uh... fashion designers.
Cadpig:
Roger, calling this computer sorta buggy is like saying Cruella is kinda selfish.
Spot:
According to my calculations, in order to get into the chow tower, you need 108 more pounds!
Cadpig:
Rolly and I add another eight pounds. We need a hundred more.
Lucky:
How 'bout Cruella? I bet she weighs a hundred pounds.
Rolly:
Yeah, so do a bunch of rocks.
Cadpig:
We vote for the rocks.
Cadpig:
Ah, spring, a season of renewal. The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, Nanny is ridding the house of Cruella's electronic surveillance devices.
Cadpig:
Sweet Goddess of Love. That is the biggest egg I have ever seen.
Spot:
That's nothing compared to Mom! You should see what she hacks up at Easter!
Lt. Pug:
Well, that does it. The cookie has sung. The fat lady has crumbled. The Bark Brigade is yours.
Cruella de Vil:
Welcome wagon! A special cake for my new neighbors.
Roger Dearly:
"Happy Bar-Mitzvah, Howard?"
Cruella de Vil:
Well, it's the only thing they had up at that old donut shack in Grutely. Memo to myself: Buy that donut shack in Grutely and fire everybody.
Two-Tone:
Yard sales? I love yard sales! Actually, I hate yard sales. The pros of a yard sale are the bargains, but the cons of a yard sale are that the items are used! Ugh!
Cadpig:
Two-Tone? Focus!
Lucky:
Where did you learn about this?
Spot:
I'm Professor Egghead Science Over-Easy!
Two-Tone:
Hi, Mooch. Beautiful morning, isn't it?
Mooch:
It was! I can't see it anymore!
Lucky:
I look like a big wad of bubble gum.
Rolly:
Then why'd you dye yourself pink? You shoulda picked another color!
Spot:
How do you hide an elephant?
Rolly:
Maybe we can put him on wheels and disguise him as a vacuum cleaner.
Spot:
Or stick little magnets on him and pretend he's a refrigerator.
Cadpig:
Or put a saddle on his back and pretend he's a horse with a glandular problem.
Rolly:
Anybody want some peanuts?
[
the other pups give strange looks]
Rolly:
What? It's not like I've never offered you any of my food before. Okay, so it's been a while.
Cadpig:
Uh-oh! I'm having and out-of-bubble experience!
Cadpig:
Look on the bright side, Rolly. If this takes much longer, it'll be dinner time.
Rolly:
But I need food now!
Spot:
Relax, you guys. Just look back...
Lucky:
Only quitters look back! We've gotta look forward! Am I right?
Cadpig, Rolly:
Yeah!
Lucky:
Why are we baking her a cake now? She hasn't won the Designer of the Year award yet. She's only been nominated.
Cadpig:
It is an honor just to be nominated. Of course, winning adds in the joy of rubbing everybody's nose in it.
Waiter:
Something wrong?
Roger Dearly:
I thought the husband of the winner would rate a better table.
Waiter:
The husband of the winner usually doesn't bring pets wearing his suspenders.
Cruella de Vil:
My pool is ruined! And whoever heard of Cruella De Vil with blue and white hair? There ought to be a law against dumping gunk like this!
Jasper:
There is.
Horace:
But you told us to ignore it.
Lucky:
We gotta think of a way to stop them.
Rolly:
We can flatten the tyres.
Lucky:
Hmm... I know! We'll flatten the tyres!
Rolly 
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