Lucky:
Let's do it for Roger!
Cadpig:
Let's do it for Roger!
Rolly:
Let's do it before dinner!
Cadpig:
You know? When I get hungry, I have a mental meal. Mmm... Right now, I'm having a heaping stack of blueberry pancakes with honey butter and warm maple syrup... with a side of sausage links, and home fries, and orange juice, and wheat toast, buttered on one side only please... Thank you.
[
Rolly faints in hunger]
Cadpig:
Looks like he's having a psychic sugar rush.
Cadpig:
If you keep your face in the sunshine, be sure to wear sunglasses.
Spot:
I can have a sandwich named after me. Just think...”Chicken Sandwich"!
Lucky:
Oh, man, now I've done it! They're going to lose the farm because of me.
Cadpig:
Now, now, no pity-parties, Lucky. It's not all your fault. Tell him, guys.
Rolly:
No, I think he's right.
Spot:
Yeah, it's pretty much his all fault.
Cadpig:
I shall wash, but I shan't be clean.
Rolly:
Got any ideas?
Spot:
This is one of those times I wish my head worked as good as my mouth.
Lucky:
We're not going anywhere near the poultry aisle.
Spot:
To you, it's the poultry aisle. To me, it's my family reunion!
Spot:
Hello! Remember me? I'm having a little stomach problem here... like
[
shouts]
Spot:
no stomach!
Cadpig:
Darkness... darkness...
Rolly:
But the Colonel said not to ever ever ever step foot in here!
Lucky:
We're not stepping, we're wading.
Lucky:
Yuck! Pollution!
Cadpig:
How can someone so callously violate nature's bathtub?
Rolly:
Looks more like nature's toilet bowl.
Spot:
Now, according to my calculations... the only truly statistically safe ride at the fair is... the turnstile.
Rolly:
Flaming Baked Alaska!
Lucky:
Forever?
Rolly:
As in... forever?
Cadpig:
Wow! They totally understood your barks!
Rolly:
I thought that only worked on TV!
Lucky:
I get it now! This way on the map is that way in the mall.
Rolly:
So does that mean that up is down and down is up?
Cadpig:
Let's all put on a happy face!
Cadpig:
Goodbye, happy face. Hello, sad face.
Rolly:
Well, now what do we do?
Spot:
Bark Brigade procedure is clear. Turn tail and run!
Lucky:
What? At the first sign of excitement? No way! We're going to march out there and trap Lambo just like Thunderbolt would do.
Spot:
But this isn't TV! This is real life! That could be d-d-d-dangerous!
Lucky:
I *live* for danger! They don't call me Luckybolt for nothing! Come on!
Cadpig:
All right, who called him Luckybolt?
Rolly:
This is scary.
Lucky:
I know. No TV.
Rolly:
Sorry, guys. My stomach sorta took over my brain.
Lucky:
There's news.
Horace:
Jasper, do you think I need a face lift?
Jasper:
You need a brain lift!
Lt. Pug:
[
singing] Lift your legs and move your butt.
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly, Spot:
[
singing] Lieutenant Pug is a great big nut!
Lt. Pug:
My grandma can walk faster than you, and she's dead!
Cadpig:
I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that bird is cuckoo.
Spot:
Hey! That's my mom you're talking about!
Cadpig:
Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. You're mother is cuckoo!
Rolly:
My stomach alarm says that we're going to be late for dinner!
Cadpig:
Well, you'd better reset it!
Lucky:
Hey! Who turned off the color?
Cadpig:
Oh, no! Farm Noir! Huh?
[
the pups glare at Spot wearing a trench coat]
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly:
Spot?
Spot:
The name's Pullet Marlowe, Private Chick. Mystery is my middle name.
Rolly:
I thought it was Irma.
Spot:
Oh yeah. And I'm Walnutter, Queen of the Cashew People!
Rolly:
Long live the Nut Queen!
Spot:
[
voice over] I was like a Slinky on an escalator, I was getting nowhere fast.
Lucky:
Listen... I've heard that rumble before.
Cadpig:
Yeah, from Rolly's stomach on Pizza Night!
Swamp Rat:
Just one word for you, chicken... Eeh!
Spot:
"Eeh"?
Cadpig:
Oh, I hope Roger picks me! That trophy matches my inner glow.
Spot:
Who cares about the trophy? I just wanna bring honor to Dearly Farm.
Rolly:
Roger isn't picking a chicken, Spot.
He's gonna choose a dog... with a nose for bones... like me.
Lucky:
Dream on, guys. Roger has only one favorite, and we know who that is.
Cadpig:
Oh, forgive me, chosen one. And if it weren't for my total commitment to world peace, I'd kick your sorry little...
Spot:
Hey, where are you going, Tripod?
Tripod:
Gotta start practicing for the contest. Gotta dig, gotta pump up, gotta feel the burn! You guys coming?
Lucky:
Nah, I've got... shall we say... connections.
Tripod:
No pain, no gain.
Cadpig:
He's brave.
Rolly:
He's fearless.
Lucky:
He can do anything!
Spot:
He's just a dog.
Lucky:
He's not just a dog! Go-Go's my hero!
Cruella de Vil:
Memo to myself: Give up gambling. It's wrong... especially if you lose money.
Cruella de Vil:
Come back here, you! You owe me more than a dollar! Ooh! I mustn't run in heels!
Roger Dearly:
Oh, Lucky. You know I can't stay mad at you. You're my favorite.
Cadpig:
Gee, it's enough to make you want to toss your kibble.
[
repeated line]
Tripod:
No pain, no gain.
Lucky:
Roger's choosing Tripod over me? We gotta get him to a doctor. Maybe he's a clone! His body's been snatched in an alien invasion!
Lucky:
Why didn't Roger pick me?
Spot:
Hmm, let me take a stab at this. Because Tripod practiced? Because he worked hard? Because he's better?
Lucky:
Who says he's better? I never even tried.
Spot:
Ah! I think we've identified the problem.
[
Lucky and Tripod get attacked by a sling of mud. The mud puts Tripod's hair into a swirl]
Lucky:
That's a good look for you.
Tripod:
Careful, Lucky. You don't want to break a nail.
Cadpig:
You're not suffering from shot anxiety, are you, Lucky?
Spot:
Lucky? Afraid of a little shot? Ha! Lucky and I laugh at shots! We have shots for breakfast! Afraid? Please!
[
Lucky faints]
Cornelia:
Oh, Spot? Time for your chickenpox shot!
[
Spot faints]
Cadpig:
Come on, Lucky. Mr. Vaccine has a needle with your name on it.
Lucky:
You guys go ahead. I'm gonna hide. Uh, I mean... I'd better go round up the others. Yeah! I'm gonna go round up the others.
Rolly:
[
translating a barking code] Lamb strayed from flock... runaway... last seen... riding a cloud?
Spot:
That's "heading for town".
Lt. Pug:
What I want out of each and every one of you is a soft-hearted search by the book: No barking, no mocking, no begging for hand-outs.
Lucky:
Whoop-de-doo.
Rolly:
I don't remember this ever happening to Thunderbolt.
Cadpig:
But this is Luckybolt. The danger never stops.
Lucky:
Just a minor setback.
Lucky:
I can't wait to meet Thunderbolt!
Spot:
I hear he dyes his muzzle.
Spot:
You know how many people are maimed every year on merry-go-rounds?
Lucky:
Uh... none?
Spot:
Exactly! A tragedy is long overdue.
Spot:
Guys, help me! I'm... blue!
Cadpig:
Oh, Spot, these little side trips to Unhappy Land have to stop.
Spot:
[
crushed by a drum] Pollution hurts.
Cruella de Vil:
I am simply sensational in my new commercial! Don't you agree?
[
pause]
Cruella de Vil:
Of course, you do. I pay you to agree.
Horace:
[
to Jasper] She pays you?
Cruella de Vil (Left Head):
This is an environmental disaster.
Cruella de Vil (Right Head):
What she said.
Cruella de Vil (Left Head), Cruella de Vil (Right Head):
Memo to myself: No longer pollute local rivers and streams that directly effect me.
Lucy:
My Hiccup Hole is in beautiful condition. No more pollution...
[
the pups splash in]
Lucy:
... except for the spotted variety.
Cruella de Vil:
What a ravishing day, almost as if I designed it myself. Fresh air, sparkling water... humongous glowing blue tsunami of *slime*?
Cadpig:
You know what they say: When one door closes, another one opens.
Lucky:
Hey, they were right, Cadpig!
Lucky:
Hold onto this liquorice with your teeth, Rolly. Don't eat it.
Rolly:
I could, right?
Lucky, Cadpig, Spot:
No!
Rolly:
Okay, but hurry! I'm weakening!
Cadpig:
Don't hold onto the past, Lucky. Let it go. Move on. Catch it on cable!
Mr. Puffin:
Before I make the public announcement, I wanted to congratulate you for having the designer of the year working for you.
Cruella de Vil:
Darling, I don't work for me. I *am* me.
Cruella de Vil:
Memo to myself: Replace sawdust in the dog food with dirt. It's even cheaper.
Man:
But Ms. De Vil, aren't you concerned about the nutrition?
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, who cares? They're dogs! And they're owners are too stupid to know the difference.
Rolly:
Who could be responsible for such monstrosity?
Cruella de Vil:
You're fired!
Spot:
Why do we bother to ask?
Cadpig:
Let's not poo-poo our positivity. Just think about the competition.
Cecil B. DeVil:
What better actress would advertise new chicken flavor Kanine Krunchies than a chicken?
Spot:
Chicken flavor? What do they take me for? Some kind of *sicko*?
Lucky:
Rolly, what happened when you took that poll?
Rolly:
What happened when I took the poll? The fence fell down!
Cadpig:
I always try to be supportive, but... GET OFF ME NOW!
Lucky:
Holy Chimmichanga!
Rolly:
Spot, why don't you just follow us out this way?
Spot:
Uh, because I'm stuck?
Rolly:
This was a lot more fun than just sitting around watching TV... even the Gravy Channel!
Cadpig, Lucky, Spot:
*Especially* the Gravy Channel!
Cadpig:
Some people don't know when to quit.
Lucky:
We'll all be on TV! Which is my best side?
Spot:
You're sitting on it.
Princess:
I must have "sucker" branded on my derriere.
Cadpig:
You are a hero. Just like on TV.
Lucky:
Some hero. Nothing like the way I planned it. The bad guy beat me at every turn, and look at how it ended! I got plucked like a chicken! No offense, Spot.
Spot:
None taken... Baldy!
Lucky:
What was I thinking? I don't have a chance!
Cadpig:
There is no such thing as chance, Lucky. It's all up to destiny, and today, my name is "Destiny"!
Lucky:
If I were Chief Firedog, I'd declare a hydrant for every dog! I'd be the envy of all my fellow canines...
Cadpig:
Attention, Flight Director Lucky. Your ego trip has been cancelled.
Lucky:
Hey, who shut it off?
Spot:
Sorry, I thought it was over.
Rolly:
What's it matter? All that's left was a preview of tomorrow's show.
Cadpig:
And we know what *that* will be like: a little gratuitous violence, a little male bonding, a big explosion at the end. KABLAM! They're all the same.
Lucky:
I still wanted to see it. Thunderbolt's the only excitement I get around here.
Spot:
You looking for excitement? Rumor in the henhouse says that somebody, possibly Naomi, laid an egg... with two yolks.
Rolly:
Hey, hey! I dug up a shoe... open-toed!
Lucky:
Someone put me out of my misery! I wasn't meant to live the life of a farm animal. I need adventure, excitement, like Thunderbolt! I should be battling insidious villains, facing fur-raging danger, boldly going where no puppy has gone before!
Cadpig:
Welcome to Lucky's Rich Fantasy Life, and now back to reality.
Cadpig:
Welcome to the sinkhole of misery.
Jasper:
What do we do now, Ms. De Vil?
Cruella de Vil:
We steal it.
Horace:
But isn't that stealing?
Cruella de Vil:
Nothing gets past you, does it?
Cruella de Vil:
Did I wake you?
Roger Dearly:
No, I had to get up to answer the door.
Colonel:
Now, Lucky, you can not simply leap into a dangerous situation. You got to think, plan ahead. That's the make of a true hero.
Cadpig:
Lucky prefers the jump out of a plane and see if gravity's on duty approach.
Cornelia:
Where'd they learn that?
Cadpig:
It just goes to show ya, an old dog can teach new chicks!
Spot:
You know, I had a great song and dance number here; they cut it!
Cruella de Vil:
You people don't have any Christmas spirit. Christmas is about giving, giving me more designs, more things to sell, more of your time!
Spot:
Wait! I have to tell you two things! Number 1, Nanny left some extra kibble for you guys back at the shed!
Lucky, Cadpig, Rolly:
What's number 2?
Spot:
Look out for the sewer pipe!
Lucky:
[
on top of Rolly] Gotcha!
Cadpig:
Lucky, next time, try clobbering the bad guy.
Lucky:
Hee hee. Sorry, Rolly.
Lucky:
Lieutenant! Push the cage release button!
Lt. Pug:
I don't take orders from you!
Lucky:
But that was part of your plan. Plan C. Remember?
Lt. Pug:
Of course I remember. C for...”Cage Release".
Spot:
C'mon, Pug's gonna be looking for us!
Lucky:
Relax, that bonehead couldn't find his butt with both paws!
Lt. Pug:
Freeze, hairballs! You traitors are all going down!
Cadpig:
But...
Lt. Pug:
Don't but me, Cadpig!
Cadpig:
That's right, Cadpig! See what happens when you try?
Cadpig:
Well, that was quite a resolution!
Lucky:
Shut up, Cadpig.
Lucky:
[
while wearing a jet suit] Help me out of this outfit!
Cadpig:
[
pressing a button on his belt] Is this the zipper?
Lucky:
No! That's the on switch!
Cadpig:
Isn't this stealing?
Lucky:
No. Stealing is when you take something from someone and never bring it back. This is borrowing.
Swamp Rat:
Did you say L-O-B-ster? That is to say, Lobster?
Cruella de Vil:
You did keep my contract to buy the farm, Roska.
Roger Dearly:
Oh, no! I'm not going to sign until I have a lawyer to look it over, maybe two.
Rolly:
If there was a real Shrewzle around, I would have smelled it. The Shrewzle has a very distinct odor, it's more gamey than squirrels and it's less musky than a raccoon, it's kind of like a beaver but a little less mildew.
Cruella de Vil:
Don't you have any tap water?
Anita Dearly:
It might be a tad rusty. Roger's been working on the pipes.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, well, that's just fine. I'll just think of it as gravy.
Cruella de Vil:
This box has been opened! Are you shorting me again? I'll count every straw!
Man:
But this is for the straws you were shorted last week.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, so it is. Well, don't let it happen again or it'll be the last straw!
Cruella de Vil:
Our designs are on sale at the concession stand. Don't be afraid to make a fashion statement, people.
Boy:
They're scary, like you.
Cruella de Vil:
I take it back. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Mayor Ed Pig:
Quiet that unruly mob, Bailiff.
Rolly:
Uh, your honor, that's the jury.
Mayor Ed Pig:
Well, at least they haven't formed any opinions.
Spot:
This is a citizen's arrest.
Lucky:
You have the right to remain guilty.
Cadpig:
Anything you say will be a lie.
Lucky:
[
in Cruella's obscure mansion] I don't understand. It's like I'm in some modern-art painting.
[
he then goes down a twisted staircase]
Lucky:
I hate modern art.
Cruella de Vil:
You are such a dear to appraise my new painting. I'm sure it's worth a fortune, it is, after all, a portrait of me.
Lt. Pug:
Are there any questions?
[
everyone raises their hand]
Lt. Pug:
Good! Since there are no questions...
Swamp Rat:
Did you say elevator shoes?
Spot:
No, that was a voice-over.
Cruella de Vil:
Do you know what this means?
Horace:
Balloons and ice cream and cute little happy puppies.
Roger Dearly:
Is it my imagination or is that woman wearing our drapes?
Cruella de Vil:
Jasper, Horace! You're going to the Grutely Dog Show.
Jasper:
But, Horace isn't housebroken yet.
Horace:
I prefer to say that I'm bladder challenged.
Jasper:
I told Horace not to turn on the vacuum until we attached the bag.
Horace:
How could I hear you with the vacuum on?
Jasper:
You idiot.
Horace:
We're in a real pickle, Jasper; a real pickle.
Jasper:
Gotta look on the bright side, Horace, this could be our chance to find a job where we'll actually get paid, with money.
Horace:
There's bosses who pay money? Oh, come on, how dumb do you think I am?
Cruella de Vil:
You are fired!
Horace:
Do you mean fired till tomorrow or fired till Tuesday?
Jasper:
She's kind of riled up this time; we better stay fired until Thursday.
Cadpig:
And now for the second phase of the greiving process... ANGER!
Cadpig:
Rolly, you really must learn to control your appetite; appetite shouldn't control you!
Cadpig:
Just think, for one brief moment, the name, Anita Dearly, will stand for all that is pure, and lovely, and must be dry cleaned.
Cadpig:
Oh Rolly, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, and if you do that to me again, I'm going to violate the other six on you!
Spot:
It's way past my nap time! If my mom catches me...
Cadpig:
Oh, relax for once, Spot. Hang ten on the cosmic surfboard of freedom!
Spot:
Cadpig, your metaphysical metaphors are getting weirder and weirder!
Lucky:
You guys could help me, you know!
Cadpig:
I thought this was supposed to be some Iron John macho thing. All you had to do was ask.
Lucky:
You know, guys? If I'm chief firedog, you can come and visit me at the firehouse whenever you want.
Rolly:
But Dad said that it's *my* destiny to be chief firedog. He said if I keep imagining, I can become it.
Cadpig:
Well, right now, Rolly, I'm imagining you're a hopeless dreamer. Oh! Look! You've become one!
[
repeated line]
Rolly:
Oh, papa!
Rolly:
Come on, help me pull this thing loose.
Spot:
I thought you were too much the gourmet to chew shoes.
Rolly:
I'm not gonna chew it, I'm gonna fetch it to Cruella. Maybe my good deed will earn me a hand up.
Cadpig:
Yeah, and maybe the Tooth Fairy will fly away to Lollypop Land and get a cavity.
Cruella de Vil:
Help me! I'm basting!
Lucky:
We may have missed lunch hour, but lunch will be ours! I have a plan that will have us chowing down in no time! We'll be swimming in kibble once we...
Spot:
Lucky? If I could just interject here for a second...
Lucky:
Spot, don't interrupt my moment.
[
continuing his speech]
Lucky:
Once we... break into the chow tower!
Cadpig:
[
sarcastically] Great moment, Lucky.
Spot:
I know what you're thinking. They look better than we do, and it's the chicken's fault.
Lucky:
At least you've got one thing right. We're supposed to walk the same, sound the same and look the same. We're supposed to be one big dog.
Cadpig:
Well, we're close. We're one big dog and a chicken.
Spot:
I'm in the lead! I'm in the lead!
[
falls in a puddle of mud]
Spot:
I'm in the mud.
Cruella de Vil:
I just love when good things happen to bad people!
Lucky:
There's gotta be some way to prove she's faking.
Rolly:
You sure she's still faking? I've seen healthier looking road kill.
Lucky:
Don't let her fool you. She's a picture of health!
Lt. Pug:
If you dirt weasels think that this is going to be another session of Sunday in the park with Grandpa, then think twice!
Cadpig:
Can I think happy thoughts, Lieutenant?
Lt. Pug:
Shut up, Capon!
Cadpig:
It's Cadpig, Sir.
Lt. Pug:
Whatever, Carpool. Now shut up and listen!
Lt. Pug:
True, it's not like the good old days. Back then, you can drop a piano on them, or flatten them with a steamroller, or paint a tunnel on a wall, and they'd slam right into it. I hate cats. Of course, now it's a code war, so we can't get away with that any more.
Rolly:
This guy's one doughnut short of a dozen.
Spot:
Hey, did you hear something?
Rolly:
Oh, that was my stomach.
Rolly:
What do you know? False alarm.
Lucky:
Let's look around.
[
they look around for a while]
Rolly:
That was fun. Anyone for gelato?
Lucky:
[
stops Rolly in his tracks] Something's fishy.
Rolly:
You always gotta go looking for trouble, don't you? Can't you just accept it as a false alarm? Here. I'll prove it to you. See? No sheep in trouble!
Cadpig:
Gosh, Rolly, I guess you were right.
[
a stampede of sheep runs over them]
Cadpig:
Did anyone get the license plate of those sheep?
Rolly:
I can't see.
Spot:
That makes you the luckiest one here.
Cadpig:
Oh, that is sentimental!
Rolly:
Oh, give me a break.
Lucky:
Or a barf bag.
Cadpig:
How could you be so insensitive? Have you never felt the pangs of Toujour L'amour?
Rolly:
I pulled a groin once.
Lucky:
I had ringworm.
Spot:
Does moulting count?
Cadpig:
Oh, Dumpling, beloved...
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] Oh, Dumpling, you mud head!
Cadpig:
Uh... er... your eyes are liquid pools, and your lips are cherries.
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] Your eyes are lizard drool, and your lips are hairy!
Cadpig:
No, no, you big doofus!
Rolly:
[
to Dumpling] No, no, you big doofus!
Spot:
Oh, yeah, of course he gets *that* right.
Cadpig:
The words: "Deep Emotional Scars" spring my ear.
Lucky:
Man, these TV windmills are just as fake as TV heroes.
Cadpig:
I could become a spokesperson for world peace... or a major soft drink; they pay better.
Lucky:
Shouldn't stars like us have something more than second-hand scenery?
Bon-Bon:
Mind if I make a suggestion? Shut up! And keep off the top bunk! It's mine.
Cadpig:
Works for me. Actually, I prefer the bottom bunk.
Bon-Bon:
In that case, the bottom bunk's mine.
Cadpig:
Whatever tugs your leash. There's probably a better view from the top bunk anyway.
Bon-Bon:
They're *both* mine!
Cadpig:
So whatcha in for? Control issues?
Lucky:
I hope we made it in time for lunch.
Cadpig:
Aren't you not supposed to eat 30 minutes after you swim?
Rolly:
No, it's *before* you swim. I know about these things.
Lucky:
[
"Thunderbolt" has just been interrupted by Cruella's telethon] Who turned on the Sci-Fi Channel?
Rolly:
I think I'm retaining water.
Lucky:
I think you're retaining doughnuts!
Lucky:
[
opens Cruella's suitcase] Wow! Nothing but cigarettes!
Rolly:
Maybe she thinks tobacco is a food group.
Rolly:
I can't wait to get my shot. Dr. Whittaker's a babe!
Cadpig:
Relax. It's only a little shot.
Rolly:
Yeah. There are no huge scary needles or anything.
[
sees a huge needle]
Rolly:
Oh, boy, was I wrong.
Cadpig:
Personally, I'm drawn to the symbolic journey of the roller coaster carrying you through life's ups and downs... till you puke.
Horace:
You know? We'd be going a lot faster if we didn't have a flat tyre.
Jasper:
Thanks for the tip, Einstein.
Rolly:
[
holding a bunny-shaped candy, talking with an effeminate voice] I am just a little bunny, and I would not hurt anyone.
[
he eats the bunny and takes out another]
Rolly:
I am just a little bunny and...
[
he eats the bunny and takes out another]
Rolly:
I... am... just...
[
he eats the bunny and starts devouring the whole box]
Rolly:
I need more bunnies! Give me more bunnies!
[
shouts]
Rolly:
Bunny!
Roger Dearly:
[
sees Lucky on his windshield wipers] Cool! My wipers look like Lucky!
Lucky:
What do you want to do for fun today, Rolly?
Rolly:
Well, let's see... there's breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, high tea...
Lucky:
There's something new.
Cadpig:
Lucky, your obsession with Thunderbolt has caused you to lose your moral center.
Lucky:
But we have to sneak in! They won't sell us tickets!
Cadpig:
Shifting the blame to others. Good save!
Lucky:
We've been spotted!
Cadpig:
We were born that way, Luck. It's part of who we are.
Lucky:
I wish I could get my mind off Thunderbolt. I can still hear his theme music.
Cadpig:
Don't listen! That's just your subconscious tormenting you!
Rolly:
It's tormenting me too... from over there!
Cadpig:
What incredible kinetic power! You are throwing your subconscious!
Rolly:
Let's face it. I'm no good at this stuff.
Cadpig:
Come on, Rolly! Think positively!
Rolly:
Okay, I'm positive I'm no good.
Lt. Pug:
Okay, fall in!
[
Pug falls into a hole]
Spot:
Hey, isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Lt. Pug:
Duck!
Spot:
Duck? What is it with you guys and poultry?
Lucky:
We're safe.
Cadpig:
Interesting word choice. I would have gone with "about to die".
Rolly:
They've changed the recipe! It's the difference between Van Gogh and paint by numbers!
Rolly:
They opened up a new Kanine Krunchies plant without me knowing about it?
Spot:
They have to clear things up with you?
Cruella de Vil:
Thank you, faceless consumer horde... I mean, people.
Spot:
If only puppies everywhere knew you were the hero behind this, Rolly...
Rolly:
Oh, tut-tut, young chicken. If I can bring a smile to their hearts and a belch to their lips, my work is done.
Spot:
Dear Lucky, I know it must be complicated for a mere puppy to understand the complex in the life of an artiste, but for the first time in my life, I feel appreciated, I feel needed...
Cadpig:
I feel nauseous!
Lucky:
Red Airedale rules!
Cadpig:
Yellow's my favorite.
Rolly:
I like the brown one. It looks like gravy.
Lt. Pug:
I'm trapped... like a... bull dog under a grocery cart!
Cadpig:
Poor Pug. He's metaphorically challenged.
Horace:
I think I got it now, Jasper...”Listen, this is a stick up! Fork over the money!"
Jasper:
Too late for that, Horace. Try this...”Help! We're trapped in a store room!"
Horace:
Help! We're stored in a trap room!
Jasper:
Close.
Spot:
I can still see Lucky and Rolly and good old Cadpig... it's almost as if I'm still alive.
Rolly:
Spot, you *are* still alive.
Cadpig:
And what did our horoscope predict today, Rolly? That it's a good day to be *rude*?
Lucky:
The farm looks fantastic! Just looking at it makes me feel so... itchy!
Cadpig:
What are you so itchy about?
Lucky:
I'm itching to go to the dance with Two-Tone.
Cadpig:
Someone's been bitten by the puppy love bug.
Lucky:
Well, that explains why I itch... but does it explain why I hear music?
Cadpig:
Some cook. She's ordered out for all the food.
Rolly:
I hope there's leftovers!
Lucky:
This is no time to think with your stomach! We've got to expose her as a phony.
Cadpig:
Maybe we should take out her take out.
Lucky:
Huh. Maybe we *should* think with Rolly's stomach.
Rolly:
Oh, papa! I think I like what you're thinking!
Cydne:
[
after swallowing a few eggs] There goes my cholesterol.
Rolly:
Get back! Get back! Get back to where you once belonged!
Lucky:
Rolly, didn't you have enough to eat?
Rolly:
I did. I'm having a snack now.
Cruella de Vil:
How can you be the Ghost of Christmas past? You're just a puppy.
Cadpig:
It's called "multi-tasking." I can be a cute puppy, and the Ghost of Christmas past, just like you can be a fashion designer, and pure evil.
Rolly:
Don't miss lunch because of me! Save yourselves!
Cadpig:
Thanks, Rolly!
Lucky:
We can't just leave and let him starve!
Cadpig:
We can do anything if we try.
Rolly:
This is scary.
Lucky:
You're right. No TV.
Cadpig:
Jump aboard or eat my dust!
Duchess:
That looks like fun!
Princess:
Have you been drinking your own milk again?
Rolly:
I dig Go-Go!
Cadpig:
I love Go-Go!
Lucky:
I worship Go-Go!
Roger Dearly:
[
throws a frisbee] Wish it was that easy to get rid of Cruella. Maybe if I tied a dollar around it...
Spot:
[
gets eaten by a shark and then spat out] Well, I don't like the taste of fish either!
Cadpig:
I don't mean to sound judgmental, but do you have to be such a *colossal swine*?
[
repeated line]
Rolly:
Are you calling me fat?
Lt. Pug:
You can take a chicken out of the hen house, but you can't take the smell out of a chicken! P.U.!
Spot:
I think I froze my giblets!
Lucky:
Hey, chill out!
Spot:
Why me? I'm not ready to go to that big chicken coop in the sky!
Lucky:
Hey, Spot, we're going to go roll in the dirt. You wanna come?
Spot:
Can't. I'm sittin' on an egg.
[
the pups laugh]
Spot:
Oh, just shoot me now! It's Mom's orders! She says I'm spending too much time with you guys!
Cadpig:
Why that's Dalmatian discrimination. Don't let your mother's intolerance crush your individuality. Fight oppression, my sister!
Lucky, Rolly:
[
shout] I love you, man!
Cadpig, Spot:
[
shout] Group hug!
Horace:
I thought alien mutants from other planets were green.
Jasper:
Of course, they're green. Everybody knows that.
Horace:
Then how come those are blue?
Cadpig:
How can you harden your heart to this majestic mollusk... this courtly crustacean? How can you be so selfish to a shell fish?
Cadpig:
Someone will suffer for this!
Rolly:
What's going to happen to Lucky?
Cadpig:
He's always been lucky... let's just hope that hasn't changed.
Cadpig:
One lump or two?
Lt. Pug:
I'll give you some lumps!
Horace:
If I didn't know any better, I'd say these puppies are trying to stop us from stealing the water.
Jasper:
No, Horace, you don't know any better. In fact, you don't know anything.
Horace:
That's a relief.
Lucky:
I told you Swamp Rat would have helium.
Rolly:
It's a good thing we had Dipstick to trade.
Lucky:
Hmm... I wonder how much it'll cost to get him back.
Rolly:
Why am I doing all the digging?
Lucky:
I told you, Rolly. Ice-cream grows underground.
Rolly:
Oh, yeah!
Cruella de Vil:
It's true! The camera does put on pounds! Memo to myself: Move up liposuction appointment.
Lucky:
Ten to one, it's gravel.
Spot:
What are we going to do?
Cadpig:
Think happy thoughts?
[
Cruella appears]
Cadpig:
You're not a happy thought.
Spot:
How do we know it's Rolly? It could be another robot!
Rolly:
Come on, guys! Let me out! I'm starving here!
Spot:
All right, I'm convinced.
Rolly:
Oh, no! I can't believe I actually kissed her! Now I'll have to get new shots! I'll never get that taste out of my mouth! The horror! The horror!
Lucky:
What did I tell ya? Piece of c...
[
a large branch falls on his head]
Lucky:
...uggghh...
Rolly:
Piece of cugh? What kind of a cake is that?
[
Rolly sucks up a large quantity of the kibble as well as Cadpig, then he spits Cadpig out]
Rolly:
Yuck! What *is* this?
Cadpig:
Possibly your head after I get done with it!
Spot:
[
wagging her tail] Hey! What's going on? I'm having some sort of butt-quake!
Rolly:
I think I caught a bug in my teeth! Not bad, though.
Cruella de Vil:
I feel so... centered. How can I ever thank you?
Gipdac:
No thanks are necessary. Just remember what you have learned - materialism and greed have no place in the world... and it's really hard to get out of this position, isn't it?
Cadpig:
Uh-oh, someone came between Rolly and dessert.
Cadpig:
How enlightened - treating us like we're lower life forms.
Rolly:
Hey, guys. What are you doing here?
Lucky:
Trying to get you out of this dungeon.
Rolly:
Dungeon? There's free Hoo-hahs! They don't cost nothing!
Lucky:
They cost you your freedom!
Rolly:
Aw, what do you mean? I like it here.
Cadpig:
He doesn't realize! He's drunk with calories!
P.H. De Vil:
Time to test you for side effects... and you have many sides to choose from.
Rolly:
What's up?
Perdy:
You are.
Rolly:
But I don't know if I can be strong.
Lucky:
You can do it, Rolly. Your friends are here to lend you emotional support and to truss you up like a holiday turkey.
Cruella de Vil:
Not one call. Not one cent. Doesn't anyone care about the fashion-deprived kids?
Rolly:
This is awful, she's taken our stuff, she's taken our space, she's taken our food.
Spot:
Look on the bright side, at least we still have our self-respect.
Cadpig:
Spot, we're living in a bookcase.
Lucky:
Can't we watch something besides the gravy channel?
Rolly:
It's my turn to watch what I want - "Giblets: The Movie".
Roger Dearly:
Wait a minute, you were taking photos on the farm?
Cruella de Vil:
Well, it's amazing what you can stumble across with a super telescopic antimorphic night vision lens.
Rolly:
That's it, we lost Dumpling.
Lucky:
No, she's gotta be somewhere. You just can't lose 300 pounds of rampaging bacon.
Spot:
[
voice-over] It was a hot day in the hen house. Crazy hot. Hot enough to make a criminal stick to his case.
Cornelia:
My egg! My beautiful egg! Vanished!
Cadpig:
Try to keep your sunnyside-up Cornelia.
[
Cornelia cries harder]
Cadpig:
Bad choice of words.
[
back to Cornelia]
Cadpig:
But you really shouldn't just keep scrambling like that.
[
Cornelia cries harder]
Cadpig:
Oh, you did it again! Bad Cadpig! Bad!
[
Lucky moves Dumpling out of the way of an oncoming wagon in an attempt to get her to save him]
Dumpling:
You saved my life again!
Lucky:
I should have let the wagon hit me.
[
Cadpig's last lines in the whole series]
Cadpig:
Well, what do you know? I was the Shaggy Green Messenger!
Lucky:
Are you just going to keep giving us stuff to do until we give up?
Cadpig:
What Lucky means is, he believes you have a subconscious fear of losing.
Rolly:
In other words, he's calling you a yellow-bellied, lily-livered chicken!
Spot:
Not that that's a bad thing...
Cadpig:
Whistling is a way of audibly extending your inner joy to those around you.
Mayor Ed Pig:
I'm the mayor, and I have passed a law stating that no whistling is allowed on this here farm!
Cadpig:
Thank you for sharing, your lardship.
Spot:
I'm hot.
Rolly:
I'm hungry.
Cadpig:
Let's all think ice cream.
[
a fast moving tub of ice cream runs by picking them up]
Cadpig:
Everybody stop thinking!
Cadpig:
Why can't you run for mayor? You're charismatic, you talk a lot, you're bossy, you're always telling people what to do...
Lucky:
Okay, okay, I get your point!
Cadpig:
I can even be your personal image consultant. I love manipulating the truth.
Rolly:
And I can be your advisor.
Spot:
And I can manage your campaign. I have a neck for seeing trouble coming.
Cadpig:
It's because the planets' current alignment favors dogs. We're in a Pluto phase.
Spot:
[
after getting run over by a bunch of puppies] Look at all the pretty spots.
Rolly:
Next year, I wanna be the ballot box!
Princess:
When Nanny milked me this morning, her hands nearly froze my udders off!
Duchess:
When are we getting those heated milking gloves you promised us?
Lucky:
Vice-Vice-Vice Mayor Spot is hard at work on that.
Spot:
Yeah, and we got a finance committee extrapolating a freezability report on...
Lucky:
[
dissolve to the pups in a new place] What did you say?
Spot:
I was hoping you knew.
Cadpig:
Technically speaking, Mooch is really the one with egg on his face.
Lucky:
Cadpig, would you stop whistling before I declare it illegal again?
Spot:
Ed Pig's just called a meeting to discuss all the promises you made.
Lucky:
Well, tell them it's illegal to talk about my promises.
Spot:
That doesn't seem fair.
Lucky:
Who are you to say what's fair, Spot? I'm the mayor.
Cadpig:
Somebody needs a little attitude adjustment.
Rolly:
Yeah, Lucky! Pretty soon, you're going to be eating all our ice cream!
Spot:
And making us watch whatever shows you want!
Lucky:
Then I could if I wanted to. I can do anything I want.
Rolly:
Huh! Then you're gonna have to find yourself another vice mayor!
Cadpig:
...and vice-vice mayor!
Spot:
...and vice-vice-vice mayor too!
Lucky:
Guess I should just pass a law saying that I'm no better than Ed Pig.
Rolly:
It sure was nice of Mayor Pig to give us this ice cream.
Spot:
Guess he's not such a bad guy after all.
Cadpig:
There's a warm heart between all those pork rinds.
Lucky:
After that promise mess, I'm just happy to be done with my political career.
Rolly:
Glad to hear it, Lucky.
Lucky:
Everybody knows the real power is in big corporations.
[
Rolly, Cadpig and Spot throw ice cream chunks at Lucky]
Lucky:
[
laughs] Just kidding.
Anita Dearly:
Roger, what's taking you so long?
Roger Dearly:
Uh, I was making sure the oven is locked and the doors are off... uh, I mean...
Anita Dearly:
Honey, why are you carrying my sewing machine?
Roger Dearly:
Oops.
Lucky:
Boy, you'd think she'd at least show her good side on TV.
Rolly:
You think Cruella has one?
Cadpig:
Everybody has a good side, Rolly. Hers just isn't visible to the naked eye.
Lucky:
Let's see. "Reheat", "Defrost", "Popcorn"... Ah, here it is. "Declone."
Roger Dearly:
Is the bathtub running?
Anita Dearly:
If it is, you'd better go out and catch it.
Cadpig:
I feel so... abandoned!
[
sobbing]
Spot:
What's the matter? You've been away from your parents lots of times.
Cadpig:
Well, I always left them. They never left me. I feel anxious, and hostile, and my tail is all poofy, and my nose is... runny!
[
she blows her nose on Spot's arm]
Spot:
Thank you for sharing.
Cadpig:
Fascinating. This website posts hundreds of pet psychological problems. I'm sure I can find my symptoms listed.
Spot:
Oh, yeah. Fascinating. Who knew there'd be so many goldfish with fin envy?
Rolly:
Or lovebirds in need of marriage counseling?
Lucky:
Or that we've spent our one weekend without parental supervision watching Cadpig's nasal drip?
Cadpig:
I need to be petted!
[
screams]
Cadpig:
And I need it now!
Lucky:
[
points at Rolly] He'll do it.
Rolly:
[
points at Spot] She'll do it.
Spot:
Mother.
Lucky:
We're exhausted.
Rolly:
How long do we have to keep this up?
Spot:
I have a feeling we're going to be doing this forever!
Cadpig:
What are you guys complaining about? I'm the one who needs attention!
Two-Tone:
[
to Mooch] I just came by here to say to you that I have nothing to say to you. If I had anything to say to you, I'd say it to Lucky... my date tonight at the dance!
Roger Dearly:
Uh... I think the pups want to stop.
Cruella de Vil:
At a dog food factory? Over my dead body.
[
the pups flatten her]
Roger Dearly:
Close enough.
Lucky:
Come on, Rolly! We gotta hightail it to the museum! We don't want to miss the Fire Hydrants of the World exhibit!
Rolly:
Just send me a postcard, Lucky. I'm getting a cramp here.
Cadpig:
I'm getting a cramp too! A big giant smile cramp!
Cadpig:
[
shouts] Bring back that purse, you big jerk! Ooh, I gotta work on my underlying hostility.
Lucky:
Somebody's gotta take a bite out of crime.
Cadpig:
Yeah, right.
Cadpig:
What a dramatic day it has been.
Rolly:
Yeah, I think I pulled my groin.
Cadpig:
[
to a couple of cows] Hello, my name is Cadpig, and you two are...
[
puts a nametag on each of them saying, "cow"]
Cadpig:
cows. Nametags will help us all bond in a friendly, yet functional fashion.
Cruella de Vil:
Tell me, are there still 101, or did I happen to take out a couple of the mutts when I drove in?
Lucky:
Isn't it fun spending the night? Just like old times.
Rolly:
I don't remember freezing my butt off, Lucky!
Lucky:
Back at the barn, you were hot!
Rolly:
Well, now I'm cold.
Cadpig:
I'm hungry. Both physically and spiritually. I still miss my friends.
[
the pups are at the bottom of a fireplace looking up the chimney]
Rolly:
You sure this will work, Lucky?
Lucky:
Trust me.
[
the puppies stack up. Lucky loosens some soot causing Rolly to sneeze, which causes the trio to fall]
Lucky:
This feels very familiar.
Cruella de Vil:
I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Anita Dearly:
Nanny, make some food for the puppies; they're probably hungry.
Lucky:
Who cares about the food? I'm just glad we're home.
Rolly:
*I* care about the food!
Cruella de Vil:
Who's idea was it to put a bird bath in the middle of your driveway?
Anita Dearly:
Cruella, we don't have a bird bath in our driveway.
Cruella de Vil:
Well, you do now.
Cadpig:
I love bird baths! I love birds. They make me happy.
[
Lucky screeches in, head-butting Cadpig off screen]
Cadpig:
[
shouts] Watch it, Bird Brain!
Cadpig:
Oh, goody! We get to ferret out the ferret!
Rolly:
What took you guys so long?
Cadpig:
[
trying to get Rolly unstuck from the fence] We were too busy not getting stuck!
[
Rolly gets pulled free and crushes Cadpig]
Cadpig:
[
very weakly] Ouch.
Cadpig:
That's where we come in, Rolly. We've got to counter all our counterproductive gut-stripping fears, and do what any best friend would do - go in there, and face Cruella with him!
Rolly:
...or, we could just leave.
Cadpig:
Sure. We can do that.
Lt. Pug:
Now for your reward...
[
shouts]
Lt. Pug:
Hit the deck and give me 20!
Lt. Pug:
What's your name, soldier?
Cadpig:
Cadpig, sir.
Lt. Pug:
Hit the deck, Pig Dog, and give me 37!
Cadpig:
You know, sir, the use of pejorative labels only gives you the illusion of power.
Lt. Pug:
Make that 38!
Lucky:
[
to the TV] Are you all right? You had me so worried!
Cadpig:
How long do you suppose Captain Flea Dip will be conquering space today?
Spot:
Probably just his usual romp to the Omega Quadron and back.
Cadpig:
Exercise equipment? Why would anyone put that on a spaceship?
Spot:
Why would anyone eat processed cheese?
VLAD:
VLAD had to fool his furry and feather friends.
Lucky:
Why? Why did VLAD have to?
VLAD:
Skinny evil woman wanted to change VLAD. Went to turn VLAD into flight fat farm. VLAD's mission to violate countries, not melt off pounds fast.
Rolly:
But why dognap us?
VLAD:
VLAD wanted little comrades to help fulfill VLAD's destiny: to seek and destroy all orbiting traffic and become star of outer space!
Cadpig:
Of course.
Spot:
Should have guessed.
Rolly:
What else?
Cadpig:
We all need to express our dark side, but give it a rest.
Cadpig:
It was just nice to have everyone look up to me for a while. Take my advice. Give me a feeling of importance.
Lucky:
Well, it gave *me* chills and a fever *and* frostbite on my tail.
Anita Dearly:
Having you join us, Cruella, was such an unexpected surprise.
Cruella de Vil:
Well, I knew that hang up on my voice mail must have been you calling to invite me.
Lucky:
You're toast, Turkey Lips!
Mooch:
You're mouse meat, Midget Mutt!
Lucky:
Gum?
Rolly:
Check.
Lucky:
String?
Cadpig:
Check.
Lucky:
Chicken?
Spot:
I hate my life.
Spot:
Don't you want to learn?
Lucky:
Spot, don't you get it? Only geeks learn barking code, and only losers teach it.
Lt. Pug:
*I* took command! *I* faced the enemy! Granted, it was a fictional enemy, but those are the worst kind!
Roger Dearly:
How do I know you're not making the same old empty promises?
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, don't be ridiculous. These are brand new empty promises.
Cruella de Vil:
I'll have my people call your people... oh, that's right. You don't have people.
Jasper:
It's time for Phase 2.
Horace:
Is Phase 2 the second thing?
Jasper:
This is hard for you, isn't it?
Horace:
A little.
Jasper:
Phase 3.
Horace:
Now, is Phase 3 the first thing?
Jasper:
Now, how can it be the first thing?
Horace:
That's a toughie.
Cadpig:
You know, Lieutenant, instead of taking us on your usual machismo tour, why don't we cadets do something more enlightening like explore our feminine side?
Lt. Pug:
Feminine side my grandma! I don't have a feminine side!
Cadpig:
Sure you do. It's in there somewhere. The sensitive, nurturing, patient part in all of us.
[
a truck runs by covering Cadpig in mud]
Cadpig:
Hold that thought.
[
chases after the truck]
Cadpig:
You mud-slinging bag of slime!
Lt. Pug:
Whoa. She's good. Maybe we should get in touch with our feminine sides.
Lt. Pug:
Are you two done with that helium?
Lucky, Rolly:
[
high-pitched voices] All finished, Sir.
Lucky:
We're not lifting off.
Lt. Pug:
We've got too much weight.
Rolly:
Oh, so now I *add* fat.
Rolly:
[
has a fish biting his tail] Ooh! A crab! A crab!
Spot:
[
has a treasure map on her face] Why do they always mark the "spot" with an X?
Cadpig:
My, just look at that. To those few of us versed in the ancient art of alligator-tongue reading, your future is an open book. I can see a career in the luggage business, I see someone gorgeous in your future... Ooh, and you have a very long life line. See?
Lucky:
Now, if I can just find that X...
Cadpig:
What did I tell you earlier, Luckless? That's only on TV.
Rolly:
Well, I didn't come all this way for nothing. I'll find that treasure.
Spot:
Guess again! You'll never find it without me!
[
they all see a big "X"]
Rolly:
Whoa! The treasure!
Lucky:
X marks the spot!
Cadpig:
[
to the camera] Well, what did you expect?
Cruella de Vil:
I'd get rid of you mutts right now, but there's probably a tax on revenge.
Roger Dearly:
Anita, is someone here?
Anita Dearly:
It's Cruella, dear.
Roger Dearly:
Bring her in here. Maybe she can scare the termites to death.
Lucky:
How weird.
Rolly:
Where'd they all go? Who's gonna feed us?
Cadpig:
Abducted! All of them!
Spot:
Now let's try to think about this logically...
[
yells]
Spot:
We're all gonna die!
Cadpig:
Can't a dog have a little sensory deprivation in peace?
Cadpig:
You're making popcorn now?
Rolly:
Can I have some?
Lucky:
You guys okay?
Cadpig:
Yeah.
Rolly:
Uh-huh.
Spot:
Sure. I always make that sound when I'm drowning.
Rolly:
What good is being a nice guy when people think you're a bonehead? Or a sucker? Or a...
Cadpig:
Chump? Sap? Stooge? Patsy?
[
the others glare at her]
Cadpig:
I got a thesaurus for Christmas.
Cadpig:
See, Bon-Bon? I knew you had a soft gooey center. It's a little gooier than I expected, but go ahead and let it all ooze out.
Rolly:
Those people are blocking my view. Give them a hand, will ya?
Spot:
But sir, I'm a chicken, not a duck.
Rolly:
A bird's a bird. Hit the water.
Cadpig:
Other than winning the limbo contest, what exactly did you get out of this, Rolly?
Rolly:
Well, there was that buffet.
Gipdac:
You two have been brought here to learn a system of inner values - peace, interplanetary harmony, and stellar convergence.
Cruella de Vil:
Oh, very '60s. Memo to myself: Bring back Go-Go Boots.
Lucky:
Where's your pioneer spirit? Where's your sense of adventure? Where's... Where's the scarf?
Lucky:
I said a scarf, not a muffler!
Lucky:
Hi, I'm Lucky.
Swamp Rat:
Well, you most certainly are... lucky you met me, and I am lucky I met you.
Cadpig:
That's a Steven?
Rolly:
My dogs are killing me.
Spot:
Dogs? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Rolly:
"Rolly, you eat too much!" "Rolly, you sleep too much!" "Rolly, your butt is blocking the sun!" Why don't they come out and say it? "Rolly, we think you're a pig!"
Cadpig:
Today is the honeymoon phase. Tomorrow, divorce pork.
Cadpig:
You know, I think we've entered the third phase of grief - blame, and I blame *both of you*!
Roger Dearly:
This is a smoke-free house. Not one cigarette touches your lips! You'll have to quit like I did: cold turkey!
Cruella de Vil:
[
finds herself chewing on someone's socks] Lovely stockings. Argyle?
Cruella de Vil:
That does it, Anita. I'll never smoke again. I've hit bottom. Once you've chewed on a man's socks, the world is a whole different flavor.
Cadpig:
Saving a bottom feeder should at least give me a humanitarian award.
Spot:
What do you mean you liberated a lobster?
Cadpig:
I had no choice. He was heading for that big butter bath in the sky!
Spot:
But it's stealing! The lobster police will get us for sure.
Rolly:
Spot's right. We gotta eat the evidence. Anybody got a squeeze of lemon?
Cadpig:
Rolly, how could you?
Rolly:
Nothing personal. It's a food chain thing.
Spot:
Are you sure this is a good lobster neighborhood? I mean, what are the schools like?
Cadpig:
You said you were going to make him a contributing member of society!
Swamp Rat:
He's contributing to my gumbo recipe. Close enough.
[
the match Swamp Rat is holding catches his fingers on fire]
Swamp Rat:
Yeow! I hope a little kid never holds a lit match like that! That could hurt!
Rolly:
You'll never get away with this, Swamp Rat! A decent gumbo needs cayenne pepper!
Swamp Rat:
There's plenty of cayenne in it, chubby boy! The secret is to start with a wallop of kosher salt.
Rolly:
Salt? No, no, no. First, the cayenne pepper, then the...
Lucky, Cadpig, Spot:
[
shouts] Rolly!
Cruella de Vil:
On my ship, we serve only the freshest sea food. It's so fresh, it fights back. Don't you just love an entree with spunk?
Cadpig:
Is it possible that I was an unclear communicator? Demonstrated poor listening skills? Was too caught up in my mission to assess Lance's needs?
Lucky, Spot, Rolly:
Uh-huh!
Rolly:
And don't forget to add a count of Grand Theft Lobster!
Spot:
Hey, you were just trying to help a fellow creature. We know your heart was in the right place.
Spot:
You know what happens to bullies?
Mooch:
Yeah. They get all the good stuff.
Lucky:
We're gonna have a wonderful time. No pets, no parents. It'll be our vacation too.
Rolly:
Yeah, Nanny will just keep busy watching over us, and we'll just kick back and eat and eat. And then, we'll eat. And then, after that... we'll eat.
Cadpig:
I sense a theme.
Cruella de Vil:
Bacon? What animal lays that?
Lucky:
Go for it, Rolly!
Cadpig:
Eat like the wind!
Rolly:
I really love you guys!
Spot:
Stand back! You might get sucked into the vortex!
Steven the Aligator:
I promise I won't eat you.
Lucky:
Sadly, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me today.
Lucky:
Give me a sentence in 25 words or less.
Cadpig:
Okay, I'll give you 8 words: I think my educated brother is a big jerk!
Lucky:
That was 9 words.
Jasper:
[
singing] We've got a singing telegram for Nanny... Nanny... From her sister in a jam in a great big way.
Horace:
[
singing] Add a broken "B". I picked a fight, you see. I won the fight, but I broke my knee. Need your help. Love, Franny.
Nanny:
Oh, awful! Just awful!
Jasper:
Could've been worse. We also do strip-o-grams.
Nanny:
I was talking about my sister!
Cadpig:
We'll wring every last drop of guilt our of you. But hey, what are friends for?
Man:
What types of jobs have you two had in the past?
Horace:
Mostly unpaid.
Man:
Unpaid?
Jasper:
Uh... unafraid.
Cadpig:
You know, you really should exercise your minds as well as your bodies.
Cadpig:
You okay, Rolly?
Rolly:
Why, yes, Cadpig. I've always dreamed of being a throw rug.
Cadpig:
Lucky? Pug? I think we should define the problem, propose solutions, then choose an act. That will lead to a resolution.
Lucky:
The problem is I seem to have a Pug on my collar.
[
Spot has just woken Cadpig up]
Cadpig:
Spot, I just reached my R.E.M. state.
Spot:
Have you ever seen Lock Jaw?
Lt. Pug:
Nobody's ever seen him... but I've heard him stomping through the night looking for his favorite dish: Chicken Veronica with a bed of marinated puppies.
Rolly:
Is that served with a white sauce?
Lucky:
Rolly!
Lt. Pug:
Whatever you do, don't sneeze. Someone always sneezes in these situations.
Cadpig:
Now, Lieutenant Pug, Mr. Jaw wants to know why you've been spreading vicious rumors about him behind his back. He finds it... dehumanizing.
Horace, Jasper:
[
singing] I've been working on the railroad / All the live-long day...
Jasper:
[
singing] I've been working on the railroad / Just to pass the time a... Hey!
Lucky:
They're giving us away.
Cadpig:
Throwing us out like day-old pizza!
Rolly:
Nobody would do that, would they? Do a pizza on me?
Spot:
They're tossing us out on our furry little butts! Wait a minute... I'm a *feather* butt. Maybe this doesn't include me.
Cadpig:
I don't handle rejection well! Although, I have revenge down pat.
Cadpig:
Maybe we should look at the bright side: We're beginning down the road less traveled. The start of a brand new life.
[
Lucky and Rolly glare at her]
Cadpig:
Sorry. I was just trying to put a positive spin on doom.
Lucky:
Well, Cadpig, it's the start of a whole new life.
Cadpig:
Lucky, I'm conflicted. I can't tell if I'm suffering from abandonment issues or separation anxiety.
[
her stomach makes weird noises]
Cadpig:
... or gas.
Rolly:
What things could a chicken possibly want?
Lucky:
Don't ask.
Spot:
[
wearing a vest] Cock-a-doodle-doo! Look at me! I'm a Dalmatian too!
Lucky:
Our Rolando is a little too rotundo.
[
Rolly races past Lucky and Cadpig at warp speed]
Cadpig:
He must have spotted a cupcake!
Cruella de Vil:
Welcome Baron Effem Von Schnickledoodle!
[
a very old man enters]
Cruella de Vil:
Can I get you anything? A drink? Hors d'oeuvres? Oxygen? Memo to myself: Make this a short engagement.
Lucky:
Fly, Spot! Fly!
Lucky:
Man, that's got "thrill ride" written all over it! You guys should check this out!
Racoon:
You guys all right with this?
Rolly:
I am, but Swifty here seems a little nervous.
Swifty:
[
hyperactively] What do you *mean*? I've never been so relaxed in all my life!
Rolly:
I'm famished, and you bring me stinky footwear? Please!
Cadpig:
It's the perfect snack! Did you want some dipping sauce?
Rolly:
I'd never chew shoes! I'm a gourmet. A kibble connoisseur, don't you know. My taste buds are oh so defined.
Rolly:
Come on, Spot. Live it up! You're eating like a bird!
Spot:
Rolly, I am a bird! A bird with serious digestive problems!
Cornelia:
And just what have you been up to?
Spot:
Uh... howling at the moon?
Cornelia:
Again with the dog act? What next? Walking? A leash? Fire hydrant?
Spot:
That was one time. And it was an accident.
Cornelia:
Well, it's not going to happen again!
Lucky:
It's all chicken scratch to me. What's it say?
Cornelia:
"Not a chicken. Not a dog. Have left to interface with my growth potentialities. Farewell." Only one beast on this farm talks like that!
Cadpig:
What can I say? It's a precious gift.
Roger Dearly:
Well, I wouldn't waste my breath wishing Cruella a Merry Christmas. She'd charge us for the air we breath if she could get away with it.
Cadpig:
Rolly, you really shouldn't be guessing people's gifts, it'll ruin the surprise. What I get?
Rolly:
Same as last year - chew toy.
Cadpig:
Oh, well, it's the thought that counts. Besides, I can always return it.
Lucky:
Don't worry. This is totally safe. Safe as safety-scissors safe.
Spot:
Lucky, I think I really must tell you that...
Lucky:
Spot, you're going to have to stay back! This is totally dangerous! Very, very dangerous!
Roger Dearly:
Hey, look, Lucky wants to go. Take him instead of me, Cruella will never know the difference.
Ivy:
I bet you puppies would like a nice little treat.
Rolly:
She's won my trust.
Spot:
Hey, are you guys missing anything?
Mooch:
Well, Dipstick is missing his marbles. Whizzer lost his bladder control this morning, but otherwise, nope.
Lucky:
But this is unfair! Whatever happened to justice, whatever happened to honor?
Rolly:
Whatever happened to that little piece of fat you got inside of pork and beans?
Roger Dearly:
No, Lucky. This isn't a game for pets.
Cruella de Vil:
Here! Let me have a go at this!
Roger Dearly:
No, Cruella. This isn't a game for pests... uh, I mean, uh... fashion designers.
Cadpig:
Roger, calling this computer sorta buggy is like saying Cruella is kinda selfish.
Spot:
According to my calculations, in order to get into the chow tower, you need 108 more pounds!
Cadpig:
Rolly and I add another eight pounds. We need a hundred more.
Lucky:
How 'bout Cruella? I bet she weighs a hundred pounds.
Rolly:
Yeah, so do a bunch of rocks.
Cadpig:
We vote for the rocks.
Cadpig:
Ah, spring, a season of renewal. The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, Nanny is ridding the house of Cruella's electronic surveillance devices.
Cadpig:
Sweet Goddess of Love. That is the biggest egg I have ever seen.
Spot:
That's nothing compared to Mom! You should see what she hacks up at Easter!
Lt. Pug:
Well, that does it. The cookie has sung. The fat lady has crumbled. The Bark Brigade is yours.
Cruella de Vil:
Welcome wagon! A special cake for my new neighbors.
Roger Dearly:
"Happy Bar-Mitzvah, Howard?"
Cruella de Vil:
Well, it's the only thing they had up at that old donut shack in Grutely. Memo to myself: Buy that donut shack in Grutely and fire everybody.
Two-Tone:
Yard sales? I love yard sales! Actually, I hate yard sales. The pros of a yard sale are the bargains, but the cons of a yard sale are that the items are used! Ugh!
Cadpig:
Two-Tone? Focus!
Lucky:
Where did you learn about this?
Spot:
I'm Professor Egghead Science Over-Easy!
Two-Tone:
Hi, Mooch. Beautiful morning, isn't it?
Mooch:
It was! I can't see it anymore!
Lucky:
I look like a big wad of bubble gum.
Rolly:
Then why'd you dye yourself pink? You shoulda picked another color!
Spot:
How do you hide an elephant?
Rolly:
Maybe we can put him on wheels and disguise him as a vacuum cleaner.
Spot:
Or stick little magnets on him and pretend he's a refrigerator.
Cadpig:
Or put a saddle on his back and pretend he's a horse with a glandular problem.
Rolly:
Anybody want some peanuts?
[
the other pups give strange looks]
Rolly:
What? It's not like I've never offered you any of my food before. Okay, so it's been a while.
Cadpig:
Uh-oh! I'm having and out-of-bubble experience!
Cadpig:
Look on the bright side, Rolly. If this takes much longer, it'll be dinner time.
Rolly:
But I need food now!
Spot:
Relax, you guys. Just look back...
Lucky:
Only quitters look back! We've gotta look forward! Am I right?
Cadpig, Rolly:
Yeah!
Lucky:
Why are we baking her a cake now? She hasn't won the Designer of the Year award yet. She's only been nominated.
Cadpig:
It is an honor just to be nominated. Of course, winning adds in the joy of rubbing everybody's nose in it.
Waiter:
Something wrong?
Roger Dearly:
I thought the husband of the winner would rate a better table.
Waiter:
The husband of the winner usually doesn't bring pets wearing his suspenders.
Cruella de Vil:
My pool is ruined! And whoever heard of Cruella De Vil with blue and white hair? There ought to be a law against dumping gunk like this!
Jasper:
There is.
Horace:
But you told us to ignore it.
Lucky:
We gotta think of a way to stop them.
Rolly:
We can flatten the tyres.
Lucky:
Hmm... I know! We'll flatten the tyres!
Rolly:
Hey!
Spot:
Duck!
Lucky:
What? Low bridge?
Spot:
No, I mean, *duck*!
Anita Dearly:
Cruella, what's wrong?
Cruella de Vil:
My bedroom! That's what's wrong! Burned to a crisp!
Roger Dearly:
So, now it matches the kitchen, den and garage?
Cruella de Vil:
Very ammusing, Randy, but that's the least of my problems.
Cruella de Vil:
My cook quit again this morning, I'd like to borrow Ninny to prepare brunch.
Nanny:
It's Nanny!
Cruella de Vil:
No one cares, dear.
Anita Dearly:
Cruella, you're getting married! Who's the lucky...
Roger Dearly:
Victim?
Lucky:
You wanna watch TV?
Cadpig:
Nah, it's not the same without Rolly drooling at the food commercials.
Spot:
[
as a dalmatian] Guys, it's me! Spot!
Lucky:
Yeah, and I'm Thunderbolt!
Spot:
But it really is me!
Lucky:
Okay, tell us something that only Spot would know.
Spot:
All right... like... where Rolly keeps his fritters.
Lucky:
Oh, come on! Everybody knows that!
Rolly:
[
surprised] Everyone knows where my fritters are?
Nanny:
What just happened here?
Anita Dearly:
Well, as near as I can tell, Cruella just wanted to meet our cows.
Roger Dearly:
I will never figure that woman out.
Cadpig:
Does anyone else feel tension here?
Cadpig:
Since when do motorcycle gangs value fighting fair?
Rolly:
Remember, Roger wrote this game.
Cadpig:
Oh yeah. Question answered.
Rolly:
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm ready to apologize.
Lucky:
But what about our principles?
Cadpig:
I don't recall us having principles where it's All right to call people names. Interesting concept, though.
Lucky:
Hiccup Hole isn't just a pond. It's a symbol... of freedom... and justice... and home, and country, and, and, and... apple pie!
Rolly:
Would that apple pie be a la mode?
Spot:
The swamp? This is your better idea? May I remind you of a few of the dangers like snakes and alligators and molaria and quicksand and deadly swamp gas?
Cadpig:
You're one of those glass is half-empty people, aren't you?
Cadpig:
Don't toy with my emotions. I'm fragile... and so are you!
Cadpig:
I'm throwing my support firmly behind my bull-headed brother!
Cruella de Vil:
[
she is handing out office supplies] Merry Christmas Anita
Anita Dearly:
[
Is handed Susan's nametag] Susan?
Cruella de Vil:
Oops, I must've grabbed the wrong one, I meant to give you yours, because, well, I'm giving you your job back, you can have Susan's desk too, I'm firing her tomorrow.
Rolly:
[
as they are chasing Mooch] Release the hounds!
Cadpig:
We are the hounds!
Rolly:
When will people learn...
Cadpig:
that couping out dogs is inhumane...
Lucky:
and not to mention illegal?
Cadpig:
Remember, style is 99% attitude and 1% revolving credit. So let's see you sell it, buddy!
Lucky:
Okay, here's the deal: a double jump. Whoever makes the bigger splash wins.
Mooch:
What about your stitches, Luckless?
Lucky:
You just let me worry about that.
Cadpig:
Pardon me, but is there any chance that I can make a tiny plea for sanity?
[
Lucky and Mooch ignore Cadpig and jump off the tree branch]
Cadpig:
I didn't think so.
Lucky:
Now's our chance to expose her.
Cadpig:
Normally, I'm against unprovoked violence, but in this case... TRASH HER!
Spot:
I think we're lost!
Lucky:
We're not lost.
Cadpig:
I prefer the term, locationally challenged.
Cadpig:
What is he so testy about? It's not like it was grand theft auto.
Spot:
That's exactly what it was, Cadpig!
Cadpig:
Picky, picky.
Cadpig:
I admire your proactive spirit, Lucky, but if this goes wrong, you're taking the fall.
Rolly:
What survival skill should we try first?
Lucky:
We can survive later. Right now, let's have some fun.
Rolly:
Do you think she's alright?
Cadpig:
If anyone can scare off the angel of death, it's Cruella.
Lucky:
We've got to work together to get through this.
Cadpig:
He's right. We've got to prioritize. Survive now... bury him in blame later!
Pongo:
Lucky, what are you doing here?
Lucky:
Surviving. We worked together to survive the blizzard. I told you we could do it!
Pongo:
You also disobeyed me! You're all grounded for a week!
Cadpig:
That's cruel and unusual!
Pongo:
Oh, you'll survive it if you work together.
Spot:
[
shouts] Waterfall!
Lucky:
Who put a waterfall there?
Spot:
I've gotta work on my will power.
Cadpig:
I always said Rolly would make a great teacher. I just never believed it.
Cadpig:
What is a dog? What is a chicken? Does anyone ever really know?
Cadpig:
I'm having trouble getting centered! It's all this unfamiliarity! I need a sense of place!
Lt. Pug:
Do you know the secret password?
Spot:
No, can't say I do.
Lucky:
Uh, nope.
Cadpig:
I do!
Lt. Pug:
Rats. Didn't think anyone knew. Okay, you can come in, the rest of you stay outside!
Cadpig:
Simple minds, simple answers.
Cadpig:
Aw, did the boogeyman creep into your subconscious and go boo?
Lucky:
Rolly, are you alright?
Cadpig:
Looks okay, except he's about to plummet to his doom.
Lt. Pug:
Come on, come on, cadet! Move your spotty chicken behind and cross that road!
Spot:
Why?
Lt. Pug:
If I wore boots, I'd have four good reasons why!
Spot:
Sorry, sir, but I can't cross the road without a reason why. It's a chicken thing.
Lucky:
I know you're smart, Spot, but how do you handle pressure? Solve this simple word problem in say, thirty seconds.
Spot:
Ah-ha, no problem! Two trains are heading toward each other, one at twenty-five miles an hour and the other at forty. They're fifty miles apart and getting closer on the same track, but with no time to throw the switch, they collide, head on. All aboard perish and it's all my fault!
Lucky:
Next.
Cadpig:
I always say, if you can't conquer life's obstacles, think of an alternative.
Lucky:
Oh, I don't feel so hot; I think I'm getting seasick.
Cadpig:
My center is definitely moving.
Rolly:
Does this mean there's no picnic?
Lucky:
No picnic? She's taking her clothes! We might not have a family anymore!
Cadpig:
I see a lot of therapy in our future.
[
instantly perks up]
Cadpig:
Won't it be great?
Lucky:
Hey, guys, don't panic! Lighten up!
Cadpig:
Lighten up? We're already weightless!
Rolly:
Lucky? Scorch? Overboard? As in not on board anymore?
Cadpig:
We've got to go in and save them!
Rolly:
Maybe we should tell our pets instead.
Cadpig:
Rolly, sometimes being a coward is the right choice.
Rolly:
Thanks.
Roger Dearly:
Oh no! It's Cruella! She's here! I'm seeing spots before my eyes!
Anita Dearly:
Roger, don't quit your day job.
Spot:
The Silver Egg Social? But that's for chickens!
Cornelia:
Exactly! And it's time you started acting like a chicken instead of some bone-digging, kibble-eating, tree-sniffing dog!
Spot:
But I am a dog! I'm a dog trapped in a chicken's body!
Cornelia:
I don't care if you're an aardvark trapped in a baboon's pinky!
Lt. Pug:
Today's survival mission is one that you'll remember for the rest of your dog days!
[
He gets hit by a falling newspaper]
Cadpig:
Karma! Gotta love it!
Cadpig:
Someone took my daily affirmation calender! What will I do? How will I center? How will I... focus my rage so I can rip the lips off the thieving jerk?
Cadpig:
Nice guy; must be on a lunch break from the inquisition.
Spot:
Hey! This sock smells like feet! My heat's filled with toe germs! I could get sick! What is I get athlete's nose! That could lead to nasal rot!
Cadpig:
She looks like a pup, but she's still her old, neurotic self.
Cadpig:
Rolly, feelings are like a table of pies. If you eat every single one, eventually, you're gonna puke. I'm asking you to share your pies before you toss your cookies.
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