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Source:  http://www.howtoavoidthebummerlife.com/weblog/archives/2007/10/and_there_i_was_foolshly_wonde.html
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Photo by Jeff G.

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Back to Main

And there I was foolshly wondering what I might post for Friday...

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CO has generously provided an interview he completed with Nat Ross after the infamous Cross Vegas beer feed.
Read on... COs journalistic genius is staggering.

"So anyone who is tapped into this site knows about the now infamous “Beer Feed” that occurred at ‘Cross Vegas over Interbike week involving endurance cycling legend Nat Ross. One of the coolest dudes in the business, Nat has been criminalized by race promoters for compromising the integrity of the event and the promoter has vowed to submarine Nat’s event commentating career. For all those who have raced in Colorado or have attended a endurance event nationwide, you know nobody avoids the bummer life quite like Nat. He is a true ambassador to all things cycling and he is getting fucked. The following interview the first in a one part series with people I actually like:

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1. From your perspective, explain the now infamous “beer feed” incident?

-Yes, what a night. Vegas is such a hard town to be an athlete in. So, I gave in with out a fight from the moment I stepped on to the strip. The night before, I spent most of my singles in the Titty Bar. Adam Craig and I were on a mission to make mad money in Cross Vegas and recoup the losses. Adam eventually won 43 dollars and I earned a mere 12. Guess next time I should bunny hop more barriers! I remember that the race hurt pretty bad and that I was really thirsty. Other than that, that whole night was a blurr.

2. Was ‘Cross Vegas your first “beer feed”, because from the looks of the video you are a seasoned veteran?

-Cross Vegas was not my first and it certainly won’t be the last. My Australian buddy sent me a cool photo of me drinking a recovery drink after getting 4th in the European Championships a couple of years back. Our beer is better than theirs, check out their tiny beer glasses. What a tease…

3. Is Stevil Kinevil:

A: The inventor of the beer feed
B: The godfather of the beer feed
C: A fucking douche bag

-How bout choice D: Stevil drinks Schlitz Gay. It’s considered beer by mid-westerners, but does it really count?
(Editors note: Ill drink Schlitz, but anyone who knows me will tell you Im a King Kobra man)

4. Are you a leg shaver?

-My legs sport the fuzz. I did shave my legs the first time I did RAAM. Jimi Mortenson and I both missed that session this year. Our team consisted of two harries and two shaved catz. We won the four man division for the 3rd year in a row. Next, year we will all sport hairy legs!

5. Do you have an extensive criminal background or is this the first time you have fractured an unwritten law?

-I am not at liberty to say, but my probation officer is an avid Tri Geek and could be reading this, so I better say that I mind my P’s and Q’s in this interview.

6. If provided, would you wear an orange jumpsuit in your next race??

-Probably not, Well, maybe if it were retrofitted with stripes and a number. Just break away the ball and chain first so I can at least clear the barriers. Actually, I would prefer to wear pink cause the Tough Girls fly the cyclocross flag pretty damm hard- Tough Girl Cycling(dot)com


7. You still use bar ends, do you ever refer to them as “Onza Bars”? Cause my dad does…In a old schooly sort of way!!

-Bar ends are gay, but I use them anyway. My girl is into multiple positions, so I try and practice for her 24-7. If you know what’s good for you you should mount up too.

8. One time I saw you at a cross race encouraging every racer, in every class by yelling through a bullhorn…Why would somebody do such a thing??

-Because sometimes the racers drink too much beer the night before the race. Bullhorns severly amplify my annoying voice to really piss them off and make them pick up the pace. It seems to work great for a good two hundred yards. I actually just replaced my batteries to last another season. Watch out, you could be my next victim.….

9. You lent me your bike for 24 Hours Moab…Which is akin to letting your sister go on a date with Ted Bundy…What were you thinking??

-Gary Fisher would strongly approve if you know what I mean. Just doing my job…

10. Who is the baddest motherfucker on the planet?

-Right now I would have to say Adam Craig. He won 43 dollars in one hour while wearing a skinsuit. Not bad for the single speed champion of the world. But can he count? I don’t know if I see 43 dollars in the pic. Where was the rest stuffed? That’s what I thought, sock or not Adam is still the man. He even has a silly tattoo to prove it.

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-CO note: The folks at dbcevents(dot)com are actually super cool and are really pushing competitive Cyclocross in the US to a whole new level….But, in this instance they are being humorless ass clowns!!"

So there you have it. Nats the man, Adams the man, and COs also kind of the man by association.
What the hell? Im in a giving mood. Welcome, all three of you, to the esteemed league of Friday Heros.

Up now, Ashley sent this video on. Kinda makes you want to go make some stuff, no?

A.K. writes in for a bit of advice in the brand new "Ask Stevil" segment of The Bummer Life.

-"Dear Stevil,
What do you do when your little brother can totally grow and pull off a way sweeter ‘stache than you?"

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A.K.,
Not to discourage ether you or your younger brother from embarking on the wonderful journey that is moustache growing, but if thats what hes bringing to the table, and it really is tremendously better then yours, then Id have to say you should pack it in.
Im sorry, but its called 'tough love'.

Now then- two, *count em* TWO individuals emailed this video to us today. One of which simply had 'proof of Gods existence' in the subject line. You know its gotta be good.

The only bicycle messenger in Omaha emailed us for the Bicycle Messenger Appreciation Day offer that we extended, and I wanted to know a bit more about what his story was. He wrote back with the following email;

"You bet man, I actually deliver sandwhiches to the masses for Jimmy Johns. I have been doing it since last January, which is pretty cool story, I went to the interview and said yeah I wanna deliver on my bike, they questioned how i could do it and still be quick (which is their claim to fame freaky fast). So I said if your'e unsure just see how I do after a week. My first shift was from 4 pm to 2 am, I brought out over 500 dollars worth of sandies, the "driver" could only manage to pull a like 200.

lifeasiknowit00[1].jpg

I cover midtown Omaha, which is a blast to ride. Hills are all over the place and everything is nice and tight knit super fast. But its truly an incredible feeling to be out on the bike, people flip when you come to their door with their food, especially in the winter.(it gets pretty brutal here in those winter months) But boy do I love it. Omaha is a city full of race geeks and many recreational cyclists, which is great though. It a wonderful place to be.

Thanks again for your killer products and the steps you take to give back to the earth.

Eric"

Thats rad, plus it would appear that Eric has a thing for white Ouri grips, as do I. It just proves hes a man of taste as well.
Does anyone remember in the old Archie comic books, there was a story about how Jughead got a job delivering pizzas for Pops, but failed miserably because he would eat all of the pizzas before he got them to the people who ordered them?
That Jughead sure likes pizza.

jughead173.jpg

The weekends as good as upon us, so get out there and make the most of the little time THE MAN allows us.
Giddyup.

XOS
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Comments

Seriously! Do realize how much time and effort goes into the crafting of a sweet, sweet 'stash like that?!?!?!
Not everyone can squeeze their schphinkie and pop out more hair than a sheep on Rogain... some of us with have to rely on style and finesse.
Goddamn Philisitnes!

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nat
seriously. fuck. you are a menace to us making cross the next xc. how else are we to turn the anomolous success of cross into the titanic of world cup xc racing? next time please take a syringe in the feed zone so we know you are serious.
thanks for your help and consideration. fun sucks.

chopper

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Nat, you are my hero... I've never seen such a smooth beer feed in my life.
The organizers of that event need to recognize that the sheer PROness of that hand off eleveted their race to an HNL ('hole 'nutha level).
At the time of this writing, the race promoters who "scolded" you are dead to me.
There is a slim chance that I will acknowledge their existence in the future.
For instance, if they were to realize the error of their ways, and (after apologizing) create the "Nat Ross Award", given to the rider who creates the singularly "most PRO" moment in the race.
As you did.

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They are pissed because he grabbed a beer?! F them and every race they ever put on...

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In still photos, all trackstands are Godlike.

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Fuck em I think that beer should be part of all races.

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Nice track stand...seated no less (he's got the drink pose down and everything)!

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